My lips are painful and dry, as if I have been walking, through the desert for weeks. Now I am longing for streams of water, surrounding my body and soul. For the wind to lift me up, and give me wings like angels, so I can rise above myself – to see myself from a new perspective, if only these glasses were helping me! I spend my days in meditation, where a continuous flow of words, makes her way from my heart to yours. Gratitude is what I always learned, but now I am longing for more, because I feel that I am ready, to open my heart and fly, out of this desert into the promised land, I am ready to soar!
The wonder of birth, will never cease to amaze me. With one gasp of air, we become one with life – the first of many choices, we will ever make on earth.
We breathe, because we love, and because we love, we breathe.
Love and life are connected, more than we ever realize. Without life we cannot love, and without love, we cannot live our life.
If love is so important, so vital in our circle of life, why then do we love so little?
We put ourselves first, without considering, that an empty world, leaves us desolate.
When we are born, we love our mother. Without that love, we die. Why then do we believe, we can live alone, for the rest of our life?
A life without people, is an empty life, for only through people, we can learn, the most selfless love, that has ever existed.
To learn the depths of love, we must be willing, to look beyond ourselves. For in the beginning of life, we did not love ourselves first, NO, our first love, belonged to our mother.
For most of my life, I was bullied, emotionally abused, rejected, and I had/have so little friends that I believed that I was better off alone. This year nearly took my life, not by COVID-19 but by loneliness. When one is rejected and alone for so long, one can get the idea that life alone is the only option. That is why I always said to myself, “It is me and God against the world”, believing there was nobody out there for me. But during the pandemic, I have learned that this is a lie. Humans are created to live together in whatever shape or size that is. The walls are slowly coming down around me and even though I am still finding my place in this life, the growth I have experienced was necessary and so important. That was the sole reason for this poem. Nobody is supposed to live a life alone! No one! And yet, there are so many, like me, who face this struggle every day. I am so blessed with my immediate family but there are those who have no one! Let us take the coming holiday season to look out for those who are alone! Give them something to look forward to. Give them love, a place at your table, a place in your life. You have no idea what it will mean to them! xox Gineke.
The blurred window shows, only a glimpse of what is seen, behind the front door of my house. Colors of blue and green alternate, releasing a spiritual sensation, in the quiet corners of my heart. I want to approach it, feel the texture of the uneven glass, as if my hand can reach through it. I want to open the door, run outside on my bare feet, to feel the soft grass tickle my toes. But something stops me. Something holds my feet, and all I can do is press my forehead, gently against the cold glass. Hesitation is the essence of doubt, which is the beginning of fear. I have to choose. The choice of trust leads me, on the greatest adventures. The choice of fear leads me, to an impasse in my life. Even when my hands tremble, or when my heart is filled with doubt, I open the door with the blurred window – A symbolism of the future. Because sometimes our future, is like opening a door with a blurred window. All you can see is the outlines and colors, the essence of what it has to be, but you cannot see the full picture. All you can do is trust. Trust the outcome. Trust your own ability, your own beautiful self. All you can do is take the first step, knowing that fear is the lie, we tell when we doubt ourselves. To take a step is to make a choice. To make a choice is asking yourself, this one single question, do I really trust myself?
Eyes only see,
the things they want to see.
Dead and desolate places,
alternate with magical kingdoms,
where angels and butterflies,
fly through colorful mists.
Perception is the essence,
for our identity to be,
the purest form of the self.
For hiding behind a mask,
will give only a temporary relief,
of not being seen.
Visibility is the key,
to the door of fulfillment,
but only when you block,
the murmur of judgmental voices,
and stay true,
to the truest form of yourself.
Eyes only see,
the things they want to see.
And in the sight of selflove,
and childlike positivity,
can we lift ourselves to infinite heights,
where we are more,
than we could ever think of,
and take our life,
further than it could ever be.
White birds lift off across the water,
as palm trees wave upon the wind,
at the desert shore burning beneath my feet.
Elephants come and drink clean water,
while they embrace me in acceptance.
Aware of the lion’s hunting behind me,
I stay with the elephants for protection.
They make me one of their herd,
despite the obvious difference between us,
but they choose not to see what is there.
When the heart is willing to embrace love,
it will stop looking at the differences in hate.
It will learn to take the opportunity presented,
to learn the unknown in order to grow.
Wisdom is only gained when we are willing,
to step out of our comfort zone,
like brave researches searching for new treasures.
For those whose hearts are wide open,
paradise can begin to develop around them.
So, instead of remaining with my own kind,
I choose to stay with the elephants on the steppe –
the ones who have chosen to accept me,
the ones who have chosen to embrace me,
the ones who took a leap of faith with a woman,
who is so significantly different,
that the only word to do her justice is unique.
Feelings are lost in a chaotic mess of emotions,
I try to untangle the knots in the threads,
but somehow the frame remains broken,
and the paint is slowly dripping from the canvas.
Am I losing myself in this seemingly endless battle?
Do we all lose ourselves at some moment in life?
Losing is winning in an upside-down world,
like returning to my mother’s womb is a chance for rebirth.
Rediscovering the new and old assets of my soul,
allows me to look at the painting with a clearer mind,
while I pick up a brush to fill in the blanks,
with new vibrant colors I find in my reborn heart.
If losing myself forces me to be recreated,
by the One who created me in the first place,
then maybe trust is the only way to unlock my bolted heart,
to a new and brighter future I could ever dream of.
In the light of the morning,
I walk on the river shore.
The wind makes my hair dance,
liberating my heavy heart,
from all its burdens.
The light shimmering through the clouds,
caress my face with deep love,
until joy refills the empty spaces,
of my worried soul.
I want to run,
faster than the wind.
I want to fly,
on wings of love,
but I am parched from the endless drought.
This winter morning is a desert,
with burning sand and suffocating heat,
pushing me to search for an oasis.
The greatest battles are often the lonely ones,
where nobody can help you in your pain.
Where hail comes down like brimstone,
and thoughts like whiplashes on your back.
Unwanted feelings that drown you,
making you sink in seas of emotions.
Am I fighting against You?
Or am I fighting against myself?
I want to go back home,
crawl deep under the covers,
in an intense surge of self-pity.
So, I keep on walking,
as long as my feet can hold me,
until the river water has descended.
If liberation from grieve is in the movement,
than growth is closer than I imagined,
and joy is waiting right around the corner.
Differences in cultures confuse,
yet only through observation,
can we learn to see things,
from a new perspective.
So embrace the unknown,
kiss the familiarities,
read the scripts,
and learn the words.
Our understanding can only grow,
when we let go off what we know,
to open our hearts for the new.
Let our minds first meet,
before we let our tongue speak,
idle words that lack knowledge.
Hearts can only connect,
when we open our soul to each other.
Lives can only embrace,
when we open our arms in love.
I do not have to forget myself,
nor ignore the person that I am,
to embrace someone who is different.
Where love opens her heart,
she does not exclude anyone,
for in the eyes of love we are all the same.
Children of one Creator,
we are all loved by One,
who understands love,
and is love.
So let us be like our Creator,
let us be love,
not just to ourselves,
or the ones we know,
but to all.
Differences in cultures confuse,
but when we become love,
we can see Heaven in a broken world.