Soar

Soar,

My lips are painful and dry, as if I have been walking, through the desert for weeks. Now I am longing for streams of water, surrounding my body and soul. For the wind to lift me up, and give me wings like angels, so I can rise above myself – to see myself from a new perspective, if only these glasses were helping me! I spend my days in meditation, where a continuous flow of words, makes her way from my heart to yours. Gratitude is what I always learned, but now I am longing for more, because I feel that I am ready, to open my heart and fly, out of this desert into the promised land, I am ready to soar!

In my disbelief

In my disbelief

When the land is in sight,
after an endless journey,
my heart fills with joy,
until I remember,
that the last steps,
are usually the hardest.
With the sweat on my brow,
I cry silent tears,
in my hopeless heart.
Is it a fata morgana?
An illusion in my mind?
In the extreme exhaustion,
my heart becomes confused,
wondering whether I had it right.
Was this the land,
the land that God asked me to go to?
Or was I mistaken,
wrong about everything I thought,
God spoke to me in dreams?
I pray,
first silently,
then louder and louder,
until my heart screams,
“Why have you forsaken me”?
The inches I walk become slower,
until I stand still in awe of myself,
my misunderstanding,
my hopes and dreams in something,
that might never be.
So, now I am at a crossroad.
Wondering whether to continue,
this extreme endurance,
or whether to go back,
to the life I knew before.
I do not know…
So, I wait for the silent whisper,
gently encouraging me,
to put my one foot,
in front of the other,
in blind courage,
in blind faith,
of an invisible God,
a promise I cannot see,
a situation that seems,
impossible.
Faith is like a mustard seed,
that fell into the ground,
and died.
As my heart is slowly dying,
I know a tree will spring up,
in the depth of my heart,
with strong roots,
able to conquer any storm.
Looking around this endless desert,
I still see the small houses,
shimmering at the horizon,
and no matter how impossible it may seem,
I know,
all I have to do is believe,
that those houses,
no matter how unreal they seem,
are put there for me.
Victory comes to those,
who choose to go on,
when everything inside,
tells them to give up!
So, I choose victory,
in whatever form it comes,
so that one day I can tell,
a world of disbelief,
that the Spirit kept me going,
when I could not belief.
To God be the glory,
for He was with me!

Movement

Movement

In the light of the morning,
I walk on the river shore.
The wind makes my hair dance,
liberating my heavy heart,
from all its burdens.
The light shimmering through the clouds,
caress my face with deep love,
until joy refills the empty spaces,
of my worried soul.
I want to run,
faster than the wind.
I want to fly,
on wings of love,
but I am parched from the endless drought.
This winter morning is a desert,
with burning sand and suffocating heat,
pushing me to search for an oasis.
The greatest battles are often the lonely ones,
where nobody can help you in your pain.
Where hail comes down like brimstone,
and thoughts like whiplashes on your back.
Unwanted feelings that drown you,
making you sink in seas of emotions.
Am I fighting against You?
Or am I fighting against myself?
I want to go back home,
crawl deep under the covers,
in an intense surge of self-pity.
So, I keep on walking,
as long as my feet can hold me,
until the river water has descended.
If liberation from grieve is in the movement,
than growth is closer than I imagined,
and joy is waiting right around the corner.

Movement

Inside of us

Inside of us

Withered away,
I wait for life to grow again,
but the green stems break,
in my frightened hands.

The black shadows speak,
their toxic words in pink colors,
to hide the lies from my fragile heart,
until the truth vanishes out of sight.

Screams of pain fill the sky,
but a blue blanket represents the silence.
The louder I scream,
the greater is the silence.
So I have to become calm,
in order to find peace.

Memories engraved in stone,
are written on the walls of my heart.
Portrayed on parchment paper,
they are shaped into hundreds of poems.

Looking back at the past,
invites me to learn lessons,
to celebrate new hope,
illuminating my soul,
in millions of colors.

When Heaven remains silent,
lessons we have already learned,
become the indicators on our journey of life,
and growth appears inside of us.

Inside of us

Speeding on a race track

Speeding on a race track

Speeding on a race track,
I drive a hundred miles an hour,
on a seemingly endless freeway.

My eyes are blind.
Focused on my goal,
I race past all the viewpoints,
ignoring the beauty,
all around me.

The islands from my dreams,
that were always in the distance,
are now within hand reach,
but today can be tomorrow,
because now can happen later.

Waking from my slumber,
I understand the message.
Waking from my dreams,
the road seems clearer now.

Life is not a race,
where your goal,
is your only landmark.
But a journey that you travel,
to widen your perspective,
with the sights around you.

Speeding on a race track 

A journey

A Journey

In every age,
I walk the steps,
of golden treasures,
and silver plates.
Every angle,
is a broken reality.
Miracles,
a brand new day.

When eyes see,
a crucified love.
Imprisonment,
is an escape.
A creek holds,
a thousand raindrops.
My heart,
over a million tears.

Communication,
interrupts the emotions.
Emotions,
block the communication,
and speech is an impossible road.
The restriction is a feeling.
Your eyes,
a bottomless well,
in which I drown.

The seal on my lips,
cannot hide the lostness.
If my eyes had a sound,
they would scream.
But however I bounce on the door,
I threw away the key.
Now my heart,
lost the connection with my soul,
the key in pure oblivion.

The centuries of time,
swallowed the light-years,
yet not the memories.
In order to breathe,
I need to remember.
In order to live,
the Light has to heal my wings,
but the pain is unbearable.

If only I could speak.
If only I could feel.
The flood of words,
would equal my tears.
The tears would show,
my broken heart.
Your heart would catch my soul,
and I would finally find peace.

Unended,
is my road.
My road,
is a path of love,
on which I will find you back.
Our love,
is my strength.
This life,
a journey.

Stargazing

Stargazing

Unsuspected,
You pray with me,
and a bird flies off,
to the horizon.

The world is so small,
when seen from above.
The distance indistinctly,
displays what really matters –
the volcano erupts,
at the correct time.

The lines in Your hands,
like roads on a map,
allows the future,
to sketch its course.
But Your hands,
like erasers,
decide the journey.

Stargazing,
is like falling asleep,
in a distant dreamland,
where you forget the world,
to find a new one.

Reality is only as real,
as you make it yourself,
and a prayer,
can only reach Heaven,
when you want it to.

Desert Journey

Desert journey.

The golden hills,
of yellow sand,
have turned the wilderness
into my home.
My bed is a tent,
and the scorching heat,
my blanket for the night.
I am walking the plains,
following a cloud,
by day and by night.

But my enemy became,
my greatest teacher,
he learns me to have faith,
and to trust my Creator.
For the Lord is greater,
than my enemy could ever be.
He brings me water to drink,
and food to eat,
to keep me standing,
on my journey.

My destination,
is in my heart,
overflowing,
with milk and honey.
My future is set,
my journey is endless.
Lessons to be learned,
rules to be remembered,
keep me going,
along the way.

The desert is my home,
a land my destination,
I am traveling,
from oasis to oasis.
Dreaming of what is to come,
I am following,
the Almighty Savior,
all the days of my life,
to the end of the world,
across the golden hills.