In the silence of today!

In the silence of today

For years I kept on going,
step by step,
breath after breath,
without thinking,
without contemplating,
but simply in faith,
in love,
caring for others.

The simplicity of life,
was not that simple.
The difficulties of life,
almost brought me down.
If it wasn’t for your love,
I would have crumbled,
but now,
I have to learn to love,
myself.

For years I kept on going,
without anybody by my side,
no one was applauding,
or simply noticing,
the hard work I did.

Only you,
in the depth of your heart,
noticed with your blue eyes,
the love I gave each hour,
each day,
each month,
until there was no more love to give.

In the silence of today,
I wonder,
where the time has left,
my love,
my heart,
my soul.

In the silence of today,
I know,
I gave it all to you!

As a qualified nurse I used to work in retirement homes and nursing homes, taking care of the elderly with all the love I had inside of me. The last five years of my mother’s life I helped her wherever I could, again with all the love inside of me! I am a caretaker, someone who delights in helping others, even though I cannot do it anymore, due to fibromyalgia. It is still an essential part of who I am. Initially I wrote this poem about me.

But then I reread it and thought of all the doctors and nurses who work so hard ever single day to safe lives. To safe people from the coronavirus. And suddenly this poem was no longer about me, but about them. Relentlessly working around the clock to safe lives with all the love in their heart!

So, to all the doctors, nurses, medical staff and everyone else who works selflessly and relentlessly every single day for us! Thank you! Know that you are seen! Know that you are appreciated! Know that you are loved!

In a black and white world

In a black and white world

The sky is grey and gloomy,
the earth is covered in black and white,
and nature has never been this mystical.

Arches form doors to different realms,
as mountains enclose the waters.
I follow the river to the end of the horizon,
in order to find the end of my dream.

Heavy burdens way me down,
but my wings are still strong enough,
to keep me floating above the clear water.

Angels guide me along my journey,
and the Spirit leads me along the way.
All I must do is follow His guidance,
with a trust greater than the doubts in my heart.

Now I know that life is not about the dream,
but about learning to keep yourself floating,
in world that is too often black and white.

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At the doorstep of spring

At the doorstep of spring

At the doorstep of spring,
the first jasmine petals open up,
releasing their sweet aroma,
until my heart leaps with joy.

This is what I was waiting for,
the unexplainable joy in my heart,
lifting my soul from the darkness,
into a world filled with light.

More and more I am learning,
to find the sweet aroma’s inside myself,
that I can turn into scented candles,
as a gift for the people entering my life.

No matter the problem,
no matter the outcome,
I am entering a season of spring,
where love surrounds me with peace.

Hope is the season of love,
where I learn how to trust,
in a light bigger than the darkness,
and in a love bigger than this world.

At the doorstep of spring

Movement

Movement

In the light of the morning,
I walk on the river shore.
The wind makes my hair dance,
liberating my heavy heart,
from all its burdens.
The light shimmering through the clouds,
caress my face with deep love,
until joy refills the empty spaces,
of my worried soul.
I want to run,
faster than the wind.
I want to fly,
on wings of love,
but I am parched from the endless drought.
This winter morning is a desert,
with burning sand and suffocating heat,
pushing me to search for an oasis.
The greatest battles are often the lonely ones,
where nobody can help you in your pain.
Where hail comes down like brimstone,
and thoughts like whiplashes on your back.
Unwanted feelings that drown you,
making you sink in seas of emotions.
Am I fighting against You?
Or am I fighting against myself?
I want to go back home,
crawl deep under the covers,
in an intense surge of self-pity.
So, I keep on walking,
as long as my feet can hold me,
until the river water has descended.
If liberation from grieve is in the movement,
than growth is closer than I imagined,
and joy is waiting right around the corner.

Movement

Receptivity

Receptivity

Dark tunnels create new insights,
to matters previously unknown.
Where truth steps into the light,
preceding ideas fade in the darkness,
where they disappear out of sight.

Presumptions made in first impressions,
obscure an open heart, mind and attitude,
preventing fair chances from taking place,
and when the truth comes to light,
the fool comes out to make fun of us.

Beautiful diamonds can still cut through glass,
in one single flow they can make the heart bleed,
but the fragile vase that used to be broken,
will never be able to show its beauty again,
due to the glue that keeps the skin together.

Those who are walking in the light,
can easily hide the dark areas in their lives,
but those who stand in the shadows,
will never get the chance,
to show the light that they have to offer.

One moment can teach us many lessons,
one human can teach us many trades,
but one heart can change many lives,
when the mind is willing to open the soul,
to the unfamiliar and unknown hearts,
that are placed on the steps of our life!

Receptivity

The Flame

The Flame

Your feet dance,
a ballet performance.
In your orange dress,
lighting up the room,
you steel many hearts,
and wrap them,
in warm blankets.

My eyes search you,
when the night sets in.
On the music of the wind,
you dance the darkness away.
A heart of gold,
beats inside of you,
and all you want for the world,
is to be illuminated.

To many of you,
set a great fire,
where emotions are lost,
and goodness loses the battle.
Sometimes I wonder,
on which side are you?
Or do you dance,
for whomever wishes to see you?

To be controlled,
is only possible,
in the hands of the Father.
To be seen,
is a wonder on its own.
In His hands you are,
who you were always meant to be.
In His heart you are,
the flame.

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A wish upon a star

A wish upon a star

When a star falls from the sky,
my heart creates a wish,
for the soul she was born in.

The tight rope holds me up,
while my hands and feet search,
for steady ground to hold onto.

Layers of rock tumble down,
avoiding my delicate heart by miracle,
until the dark night sets in around me.

When light meets fear,
it drives out every form of darkness,
until dreams come to life in the dark night.

When a child is born

When a Child is born

The light breaks through in the morning,
restoring hope in the heart of mankind.
The swallows search for their food unhindered,
as the mist clears the sight in every mind.
Crisp and cold is the floor beneath me,
my breath makes clouds from this thin air,
as I marvel at the sounds singing in my heart.
Hope is born out of nothing else but love,
a love that is alive in every human heart.
Every new morning creates a new beginning,
every act of love creates a new chance,
and a new chance is the beginning of hope.
When hope is in the beginning,
written in the dawn of each new morning,
why then, do we search for it at the end?
When all hope is lost,
we cry out for the emptiness in our heart,
yet the hope from the beginning,
has escaped our fragile hearts.
When the red robin kisses the frosty ground,
and a squirrel plays in the winter snow,
a white world drives out every piece of darkness,
like the rising of the sun in the morning.
The song in my heart this very morning,
plays the melody of newborn child,
who laughs in the sight of innocence,
restoring the hope in my fragile empty heart.
In the night a child is born,
in the morning my heart will sing forevermore.

When a child is born

 

The infinity of love

The infinity of love

The heart shapes the leaf,
like love shapes the world.
Never-ending in its rotation,
it infinitely reaches farther,
and wider than any grain.

Against the wood,
love listens to the whisper,
of the soft autumn wind,
where devotion beats the heart,
of every living being.

The sweet maple syrup,
strikes the soft silky veil,
against the desert dunes,
in order to makes flowers grow,
in the dry golden sand.

The heart of love,
climbs every mountain top,
to reach the end of the road,
where red leaves color the ground,
and the foundation of joy is exposed.

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This is joy to me!

This is joy to me! 

In the deepest darkness,
joy is that little light,
pushing away the pain,
so you can move your feet.
Joy is walking on water,
where the deep black depth,
is far underneath you,
even though the waters,
still roar all around you.
Joy is standing on a mountain top,
where the difficult journey is behind you,
and the view reminds you,
that the impossible was possible after all.
Joy is the rope,
that keeps you from falling down.
Joy is the focus,
that keeps you moving forward,
for dreaming with joy,
instills a deep hope,
that gives you wings to fly,
in the greatest storms.
Born out of love,
joy is the light that feeds us,
with happy memories from the past.
Joy shows us,
that new experiences,
however difficult they are,
can be fun,
in the presence of loving friends.
Joy is an arm around your shoulder,
it is a tissue when you grieve.
Joy in the face of love,
is all we really need,
in a world filled with darkness,
this is joy to me!

This is joy to me!