The wind rushes through the trees, like an orchestra playing three nocturnes, creating the perfect setting for fireflies, to dance to this sweet melody of Chopin. The stars find their places in the dark sky, and I wait for Orion’s belt to appear, so I can see him shoot his arrow. Nothing is more peaceful than the night, where silence is a warm blanket, where you can meditate on the essence of life. My rocking chair calmly swings back and forth, as I play non-existent notes on my guitar, giving my thoughts a way to escape my mind, and slip into the oblivion of this peaceful night. God speaks when the world is silent, so I listen to the voice of Spirit who speaks, on the whisper of the cool midnight wind. If I would close one of my eyes and sleep, I would miss all the wonderful things, nature has in store for me, so I try to stay awake and listen carefully. All I can hear is the sweet sound of love, penetrating my flesh, taking over my soul, bringing me the peace, I have been looking for. It is her desire to bring me joy in the morning, so I thank the night for Chopin and his music, for Orion’s belt and his arrows coloring the sky, and the gift of love I found in this peaceful moment. As the dawn arrives in her colorful glory, I pray that the peace of this night will remain, during every minute of this brand new day!
When the land is in sight, after an endless journey, my heart fills with joy, until I remember, that the last steps, are usually the hardest. With the sweat on my brow, I cry silent tears, in my hopeless heart. Is it a fata morgana? An illusion in my mind? In the extreme exhaustion, my heart becomes confused, wondering whether I had it right. Was this the land, the land that God asked me to go to? Or was I mistaken, wrong about everything I thought, God spoke to me in dreams? I pray, first silently, then louder and louder, until my heart screams, “Why have you forsaken me”? The inches I walk become slower, until I stand still in awe of myself, my misunderstanding, my hopes and dreams in something, that might never be. So, now I am at a crossroad. Wondering whether to continue, this extreme endurance, or whether to go back, to the life I knew before. I do not know… So, I wait for the silent whisper, gently encouraging me, to put my one foot, in front of the other, in blind courage, in blind faith, of an invisible God, a promise I cannot see, a situation that seems, impossible. Faith is like a mustard seed, that fell into the ground, and died. As my heart is slowly dying, I know a tree will spring up, in the depth of my heart, with strong roots, able to conquer any storm. Looking around this endless desert, I still see the small houses, shimmering at the horizon, and no matter how impossible it may seem, I know, all I have to do is believe, that those houses, no matter how unreal they seem, are put there for me. Victory comes to those, who choose to go on, when everything inside, tells them to give up! So, I choose victory, in whatever form it comes, so that one day I can tell, a world of disbelief, that the Spirit kept me going, when I could not belief. To God be the glory, for He was with me!
A little feather, with a million silky hairs, lays desolated on the ground. Blown away by the wind, it catches my heart, and captures my soul. A gift on a bed of grass, glimmering in the sun, it shines like the stars. The stories it could tell me, reach beyond the farthest galaxy, where Heaven meets earth, in the palm of God’s hand. And as suddenly as it came, the Spirit takes it away from me, leaving me with an imprint, of an unknown future, where my feelings will find, the freedom to fly.
Feelings are lost in a chaotic mess of emotions,
I try to untangle the knots in the threads,
but somehow the frame remains broken,
and the paint is slowly dripping from the canvas.
Am I losing myself in this seemingly endless battle?
Do we all lose ourselves at some moment in life?
Losing is winning in an upside-down world,
like returning to my mother’s womb is a chance for rebirth.
Rediscovering the new and old assets of my soul,
allows me to look at the painting with a clearer mind,
while I pick up a brush to fill in the blanks,
with new vibrant colors I find in my reborn heart.
If losing myself forces me to be recreated,
by the One who created me in the first place,
then maybe trust is the only way to unlock my bolted heart,
to a new and brighter future I could ever dream of.