In my disbelief

In my disbelief

When the land is in sight,
after an endless journey,
my heart fills with joy,
until I remember,
that the last steps,
are usually the hardest.
With the sweat on my brow,
I cry silent tears,
in my hopeless heart.
Is it a fata morgana?
An illusion in my mind?
In the extreme exhaustion,
my heart becomes confused,
wondering whether I had it right.
Was this the land,
the land that God asked me to go to?
Or was I mistaken,
wrong about everything I thought,
God spoke to me in dreams?
I pray,
first silently,
then louder and louder,
until my heart screams,
“Why have you forsaken me”?
The inches I walk become slower,
until I stand still in awe of myself,
my misunderstanding,
my hopes and dreams in something,
that might never be.
So, now I am at a crossroad.
Wondering whether to continue,
this extreme endurance,
or whether to go back,
to the life I knew before.
I do not know…
So, I wait for the silent whisper,
gently encouraging me,
to put my one foot,
in front of the other,
in blind courage,
in blind faith,
of an invisible God,
a promise I cannot see,
a situation that seems,
impossible.
Faith is like a mustard seed,
that fell into the ground,
and died.
As my heart is slowly dying,
I know a tree will spring up,
in the depth of my heart,
with strong roots,
able to conquer any storm.
Looking around this endless desert,
I still see the small houses,
shimmering at the horizon,
and no matter how impossible it may seem,
I know,
all I have to do is believe,
that those houses,
no matter how unreal they seem,
are put there for me.
Victory comes to those,
who choose to go on,
when everything inside,
tells them to give up!
So, I choose victory,
in whatever form it comes,
so that one day I can tell,
a world of disbelief,
that the Spirit kept me going,
when I could not belief.
To God be the glory,
for He was with me!

Creative Minds

Creative minds

I walk the temple grounds,
in my jungle colored harem pants,
declaring the state of my heart,
to a summer blue sky.

Parrots repeat my prayers,
like an echo across the mountains.
My mountains,
that I have climbed,
millions of times.

If only I could fly,
holding onto the lianas,
like that fictive man from the jungle,
I would let my heart sing,
screams of joy across the world.

But maybe I was born,
for this meditative state of my mind,
creating her own jungle,
in her own fictive mind.

Sometimes the greatest reality,
is the one that captures you,
and holds you tight.
Where a firm grip on your heart,
tells you that this jungle you created
isn’t so fictive after all.

Believing in your own reality,
creates a connection,
to a supernatural God,
who created you,
in his own imaginative mind.

Sometimes the greatest reality,
is the one that you create yourself,
in your own creative mind,
where faith makes the impossible,
your greatest possibility,
in a sometimes fictive world.

This photo is made by me. So, if you want to use it, that is absolutely fine, as long as you give me credit! Thank you!

The Freedom to fly

The Freedom to fly

A little feather,
with a million silky hairs,
lays desolated on the ground.
Blown away by the wind,
it catches my heart,
and captures my soul.
A gift on a bed of grass,
glimmering in the sun,
it shines like the stars.
The stories it could tell me,
reach beyond the farthest galaxy,
where Heaven meets earth,
in the palm of God’s hand.
And as suddenly as it came,
the Spirit takes it away from me,
leaving me with an imprint,
of an unknown future,
where my feelings will find,
the freedom to fly.

Photo taken by me: Gineke van Keulen. (Do not use without permission! Thank you!)

A Chance for Rebirth

A Chance for Rebirth

Feelings are lost in a chaotic mess of emotions,
I try to untangle the knots in the threads,
but somehow the frame remains broken,
and the paint is slowly dripping from the canvas.

Am I losing myself in this seemingly endless battle?
Do we all lose ourselves at some moment in life?
Losing is winning in an upside-down world,
like returning to my mother’s womb is a chance for rebirth.

Rediscovering the new and old assets of my soul,
allows me to look at the painting with a clearer mind,
while I pick up a brush to fill in the blanks,
with new vibrant colors I find in my reborn heart.

If losing myself forces me to be recreated,
by the One who created me in the first place,
then maybe trust is the only way to unlock my bolted heart,
to a new and brighter future I could ever dream of.

 

Cultural Differences

Cultural Differences

Differences in cultures confuse,
yet only through observation,
can we learn to see things,
from a new perspective.
So embrace the unknown,
kiss the familiarities,
read the scripts,
and learn the words.
Our understanding can only grow,
when we let go off what we know,
to open our hearts for the new.
Let our minds first meet,
before we let our tongue speak,
idle words that lack knowledge.
Hearts can only connect,
when we open our soul to each other.
Lives can only embrace,
when we open our arms in love.
I do not have to forget myself,
nor ignore the person that I am,
to embrace someone who is different.
Where love opens her heart,
she does not exclude anyone,
for in the eyes of love we are all the same.
Children of one Creator,
we are all loved by One,
who understands love,
embraces love,
and is love.
So let us be like our Creator,
let us be love,
not just to ourselves,
or the ones we know,
but to all.
Differences in cultures confuse,
but when we become love,
we can see Heaven in a broken world.

Cultural differences

 

 

The Road of Self-Discovery

The road of self-discovery

The end of the bowl is in sight,
when I eat the last of my grapes.
With the juice still on my lips,
I meditate on the sweet taste,
lingering in the corners of my mind.

Every memory is a treasure at heart,
where growth is gently formed,
in the deep core of perseverance.
Whether we like it or not,
every moment in life is a learning process,
where we learn more about ourselves.

Fear is not the master of our faith,
nor is grieve the root for our future.
We overcome the darkest facets of ourselves,
when confrontation is not avoided,
but embraced with a heart of understanding.

To understand who we really are,
is understanding who God really is,
and wants to be inside of us.
The strength, wisdom and beauty,
that we pray for every single day,
is already present in our souls.

When we search for the treasures,
the gifts that God has hidden inside of us,
we learn that strength is always present,
that beauty is something we already possess,
and that wisdom is a tangible element of who we are.

In every aspect of our life,
gratitude is the only answer,
and love the only motivation,
we should be looking for.

The road of self-diiscovery

 

 

 

Inside of us

Inside of us

Withered away,
I wait for life to grow again,
but the green stems break,
in my frightened hands.

The black shadows speak,
their toxic words in pink colors,
to hide the lies from my fragile heart,
until the truth vanishes out of sight.

Screams of pain fill the sky,
but a blue blanket represents the silence.
The louder I scream,
the greater is the silence.
So I have to become calm,
in order to find peace.

Memories engraved in stone,
are written on the walls of my heart.
Portrayed on parchment paper,
they are shaped into hundreds of poems.

Looking back at the past,
invites me to learn lessons,
to celebrate new hope,
illuminating my soul,
in millions of colors.

When Heaven remains silent,
lessons we have already learned,
become the indicators on our journey of life,
and growth appears inside of us.

Inside of us

Perfection

Perfection

The ideal version of yourself is perfection.
The ideal version of everything else is judgment.
For perfection is always centered around the self.

Every soul knows perfection-
whether it is true or false,
reality or an imagination.
To look for perfection,
you will first have to choose the glasses,
that you decide to look through.
The Father’s glasses or your own.
Through the Father’s glasses you see love.
Through your own glasses you see disdain,
because the Father’s love is real and pure,
and no one loves like the Father.
To see yourself through the eyes of the Father,
is seeing yourself the way you really are.

Perfection is not reached,
without experiencing your flaws first.
Overcoming your shortcomings,
means reaching perfection in the long run.

Perfection is an endless road,
with many hills and mountains.
Walk the hills no matter how high.
Climb the mountains no matter how steep.
Keep your eyes on the road ahead,
your mind on your destination,
and learn from the past.
Then strength will flow through your body,
like the blood streams through your veins,
provided to you by your Holy Father.

Trust is a continued journey.
Hope is the fuel you walk on.
Faith is the power to your soul,
while God’s love provides in all you need.

Perfection is a long road,
possible – not impossible.

Perfection

 

Riding the waves

Riding the waves

The waves rise and fall,
washing ashore the white foam,
creating rainbows in the sky.

The load beatings of the waves,
hitting the unmovable rocks,
numb my ears until their deaf.

Today is the perfect day,
to ride the stormy waves,
on the bluest ocean I have ever seen.

My hands become one with the water,
moving me from place to place,
until there is absolutely no escape.

An adrenaline rush,
is your heart exploding with pure joy,
as your stomach somersaults with delight.

With my board steady underneath my feet,
I move the water and the water moves me,
until I am in an endless tunnel.

Today is the perfect day,
to ride the stormy waves,
on the bluest ocean I have ever seen.

Riding the waves

 

 

 

A Joined Combat

A Joined Combat

In a constant battle,
I fight only a temporary war,
for with You  beside me,
the burden is split in two,
lifting the heavy yoke,
from underneath,
my trembling shoulders.

Your unwavering gaze,
attaches my heart to Yours,
and in Your loving sight,
I am never left unattended.
The love that connects us,
is our only way to overcome,
this endless battle of obstructions.

The requested trust,
I lay it in Your open hands,
buried in the strength of Your heart,
Your love carries us to completion,
where eternity begins today,
and the victory,
will set me in Your glory.

A Joined Combat