Inside of us

Inside of us

Withered away,
I wait for life to grow again,
but the green stems break,
in my frightened hands.

The black shadows speak,
their toxic words in pink colors,
to hide the lies from my fragile heart,
until the truth vanishes out of sight.

Screams of pain fill the sky,
but a blue blanket represents the silence.
The louder I scream,
the greater is the silence.
So I have to become calm,
in order to find peace.

Memories engraved in stone,
are written on the walls of my heart.
Portrayed on parchment paper,
they are shaped into hundreds of poems.

Looking back at the past,
invites me to learn lessons,
to celebrate new hope,
illuminating my soul,
in millions of colors.

When Heaven remains silent,
lessons we have already learned,
become the indicators on our journey of life,
and growth appears inside of us.

Inside of us

Broken Dreams

Broken dreams

As the fallen snow turns into ice,
the freezing cold blows me away,
forcing an ice-age into the summer,
where icicles melt in the desert heat,
and water is a burden instead of a relief.

My eyes hurt with burning pains,
the tears have turned into dry salt,
while fire burns my skin to the bone.
I’m blaming the snow-storm in the desert,
for its lack of interest in the growing pains.
Selfishness is always the beginning of nothing,
but when I search for something,
selfishness comes knocking at my door.

My life has never been my own,
no matter how I wrestled with the universe,
it never chose my side in the storm.
Now I’m fighting thin air on the steep slope,
beating me into the thick trees on the road.

As I lay down in the snow and pray,
the daisies cheer me up with their mandolin music,
and the sun warms my face with peace,
until Love breaks the centre of my soul,
and thick teardrops work its way down,
for the broken dreams I never wanted to give up.

Bring back my broken dreams,
and plant them in the ground,
to grow them into rose bushes.
So my dreams will never get lost in the snow,
and my teardrops are not a waste in the universe.
Give them a place in Your paradise,
so Your children can find their way home.

Broken dreams 

 

Jesus’ Final Prayer

Jesus’ Final Prayer

Landslides tear my heart in two.
Silently I wait for the tsunami,
to flood my burning heart,
until peace has redeemed it from its pain.

My voice is numbed by the many prayers,
spoken with perseverance and repetition.
But I feel as if Your deaf ears have denied,
my heartfelt request that is always present.

Tears are an undeniable consequence,
to a rejected heart, silenced by fear.
When prayers are left unanswered,
the desert will slowly kill me in my grief.

Where are You, oh Mighty Creator?
Why have You forsaken me?
This cup, too full to drink,
is shaking at my quivering lips.

Now that I have spoken my final prayer,
my final breath escapes my painful lungs,
and in the silent darkness I am fully aware,
I have overcome the greatest test.

 

Dear Yeshua

Dear Yeshua,

 Dear Yeshua, Son of God,
all I wants to know,
is who you are and what you do,
and the love that You bestow.

 Ever since I was a little girl,
I read Your stories on and on,

Your love, like magic, filled my heart,
I wonder where it’s gone.

 Not by You, that’s what I know,
You didn’t walk away.
Perhaps that little girl grew up,
or maybe she just lost her way?

 Whatever happened, bring her back.
bring her to Your flock,
Protect her like a shepherd does,
and let her feel Your love.

Dear Yeshua, hold her tight,
and open up her heart,
teach her with that magic love,
that you will never be apart.

In my Father-heart I see you

In My Father-heart I see you

A spirited energy flows within you,
a willpower to succeed in your mission,
but the flesh is weak where the mind is willing.
How long will you fight for Me this endless battle?
My heart aches when I look at you,
and My mind slips back to who you once were.

Heart of My heart, filled with My light,
I still hear your laughter fill the heavens with joy.
Quick little girl – prettier than the stars – you are,
your eyes sparkled with delight and peace.
I still see you sit on My lap eager to learn,
your wisdom excelled in your trust,
but you were oblivious to it.

The joy in your eyes when your brother was near,
made my Father heart beat faster, overflowing with love.
Your love for him grew with each shared moment,
inseparable you were with him wherever he went.
How could I have ever punished you in your mistakes,
when all you wanted was to innocently brighten the room?

How could I ever show My tears to you today,
when I feel the pain of your struggles in My own heart?
My dearly beloved daughter it would hurt you too much.
So I keep them in the shadows for all I want is your joy,
your unexplainable delight spread like sunbeams across the world.
Let them see how much you love Me.

Always shy yet protective like a warrior,
My honor means more to you than your life,
you’d give it up in a heart-beat, if I would ask you to.
But remember – my child – the day Yeshua died,
My heart breaks at the thought of having to give you up also.
So give your joy for My tears and your love for Mine.

When I look at you, past and present collide,
fusing with the future I have in store for you.
My plan is unshakable, unmovable like a mountain.
That little girl from long before the world began,
still lives deep inside your soul, hidden for the world.
Let her come out and play once again so the heavens rejoice,
and the world will see My light in you.
In my Father-heart I see you.

These are pictures of me as a young child. Probably between 0 – 2 years old.
(these photographs are mine and cannot be used without permission!)