A flower growing between the cold stone rocks – in temperatures that reach far below zero, and where even the animals do not choose to live, still survives on the strength within, that searches for life in the midst of an expected death, that is who I really am!
It is not the hope or the love that forces me to go on, but the ever-present reluctancy to give up. A faith that lives deep inside of me, tells me everyday that there has got to be more. More than this endless suffering, more than this heart-wrenching pain, that forces my pillow to catch my tears in the night, and my soul to hide them during the day.
A Force that is bigger than all of this – bigger than our entire universe, is what the last piece of my heart holds onto. All I hope for is that this Force, takes my pain and nails it on that cross, where it can die along with my tears, to restore the hope, born from love, that establishes a fountain of joy, within every corner of my heart!
Purple dresses reflect sunlight, wrapped in red sashes they reflect the soul. Golden bracelets start joyful music, where feet dance to the melody of the heart. I look at her auburn hair, bouncing on the light steps of her life. I hear her laughter like sweet melodies. She is a reminder of a past life, which formed the start of my current journey. A trip to faraway places, where sweet spices make me dream, and foreign languages fill my heart with wonder. I walk into the Ganges river and submerge, to resurface in the river Jordan, where I start my pilgrimage to Rome. My feet dance on the sound of tambourine. I fall asleep on relaxing soprano melodies. This journey brings me back to life, as past, present, and future collide, in a beautiful array of colors, that reflect every essence of my soul. I am more than I currently know, more real than any dream I ever dreamed before. And as I await the gates of Heaven, I know, my life was lived to the fullest, in the utmost sense of joy!
My lips are painful and dry, as if I have been walking, through the desert for weeks. Now I am longing for streams of water, surrounding my body and soul. For the wind to lift me up, and give me wings like angels, so I can rise above myself – to see myself from a new perspective, if only these glasses were helping me! I spend my days in meditation, where a continuous flow of words, makes her way from my heart to yours. Gratitude is what I always learned, but now I am longing for more, because I feel that I am ready, to open my heart and fly, out of this desert into the promised land, I am ready to soar!
As the fallen snow turns into ice, the freezing cold blows me away, forcing an ice-age into the summer, where icicles melt in the desert heat, and water is a burden instead of a relief.
My eyes hurt with burning pains, the tears have turned into dry salt, while fire burns my skin to the bone. I’m blaming the snow-storm in the desert, for its lack of interest in the growing pains. Selfishness is always the beginning of nothing, but when I search for something, selfishness comes knocking at my door.
My life has never been my own, no matter how I wrestled with the universe, it never chose my side in the storm. Now I’m fighting thin air on the steep slope, beating me into the thick trees on the road.
As I lay down in the snow and pray, the daisies cheer me up with their mandolin music, and the sun warms my face with peace, until Love breaks the centre of my soul, and thick teardrops work its way down, for the broken dreams I never wanted to give up.
Bring back my broken dreams, and plant them in the ground, to grow them into rose bushes. So my dreams will never get lost in the snow, and my teardrops are not a waste in the universe. Give them a place in Your paradise, so Your children can find their way home.