What is worship?

Worship is putting a piece of your heart into something and dedicating it to Jesus. Therefore worship comes in many forms, not just singing worship songs. Worship goes deeper than that. What is your talent/gift? You can worship Jesus with that too! Everytime you do what you are good at, you can put a piece of yourself, a piece of your heart, in it and you can dedicate it to Jesus. That is worship too! For me, I love singing, absolutely adore it, but I am not very good at it. So when I sing, I get self-consience and I notice that I cannot put my whole heart into it. I am always a bit scared that an off key note is a bit too loud and it will ruin the song for others.  But when I write, I lose all sense of time. The world around me disappears and I am literaly one with God. When I write I can easily put a piece of my heart into a poem. All of my poems are, in a way, my worship. Even when God quotes them, I still put my whole heart and soul into it . I write because I love it but I also write for God. Maybe even more for Him than for me. When I write I want to make God happy with it. That is worship for me. I may not sing songs with my hands lifted to the sky but I do give my heart to Jesus evertime I write a poem. What is worship for you? How do you worship best? 

Worship (2)

A beacon in the night

A beacon in the night

In a hardened world,
a leopard better hunts alone,
if he wants food before the night falls.

How is it then,
that the leopard dies of hunger,
and the pride of lions eat their meal?

Together is better than alone,
for a multitude of eyes see more,
than one single set alone.

Once rejected,
it is difficult to find your way,
your place back in the pride.
But the victory is for those,
who don’t give up.

Remember that I AM,
always by your side.
I pave the way for the weak,
and I support the crushed in spirit.

Unable to snatch you,
out of my loving hands,
the flowers will never fall,
and the grass will never wither.

My love is your beacon in the night,
a lamp that shines before your feet,
and the embrace that holds you up.

Before the night falls,
the light will remove the darkness,
so that the night will never fall again.

A beacon in the night

 

 

When God says ‘No’.

We all have those days, or weeks, where things are not going according to plan. Last week was one of those weeks for me. My dad was on holiday, so I planned a calm and relaxing week for myself (I life with my parents and since my mother passed away last year, I now life with my dad)

But my plans quickly went down the drain. My dog got sick. He remained sick all week and I was busy all day looking after him. At the end of the week, my dog seemed to be getting better, when he left an unpleasant surprise for me on the kitchen floor. I had a busy day the next day and I was unable to cancel any of it. So I started to worry. If I would leave my dog alone all day, it was waiting for another nasty surprise on the kitchenfloor but I also had my responsibilities. I didn’t consider praying about it because I decided to just trust that things would turn out fine in the end. I told myself not to worry and I tried to push the worry out of my mind. Of course this didn’t work but I tried not to make a big deal out of it, like I usually do.

The next morning God surprised me with some unexpected grace. Instead of working (a cleaning job I have at the family firm that is now ran by my brother), my brother texted me if I could babysit instead. Even though I hadn’t prayed about it, God knew exactly what I needed, when I needed it. I was so pleasantly surprised and humbled by the grace of God that day, that I couldn’t stop smiling.

This taught me a valuable lesson. I was always taught that God doesn’t give, what you haven’t first asked for. I believed this my entire life. If you want God to do something, you have to ask Him first, otherwise He is not going to do it. But this moment taught me that God doesn’t need our prayers to create miracles. God loves us so much that He watches our every move. He looks at us so intently with love, grace and mercy. He sees where our life meets a crossroad and He knows exactly what we need to get through that.

During my life, my prayers were hardly ever answered. I pray a lot but my personal prayers are often answered with ‘No’. The prayers for others however are often more succesful but it has caused me to not pray for myself, unless it is highly necessary. I tell God what bothers me but I don’t ask for anything. If I ask for something, I don’t expect God to actually do it. It is a survival mechanism that I taught myself, so I won’t get upset if the answer is ‘No’ again. (which it often is) I know that God loves me but prayer time has always been a bit awkward to me. Why ask if you don’t receive anyway? I think because it comforts me. At least God knows and He cannot say that I never told Him. This may sound foreign to you, but this is what prayertime became for me. A questionable conversation where I talk and God listens but if He acts upon it is very unsure.

Anyway, God surprising me with something that I hadn’t even asked for. He more or less restored my faith in prayer a little. Just because God says ‘No’ 90% of the time doesn’t mean it is no all of the time. I have to rely on the remaining 10%. There is still a chance that God says ‘Yes’ and it is a 10% worth praying for. Maybe you feel just like me. You wonder why you should still pray and when people start about God’s grace and mercy, you stop listening because the answer is always ‘No’ or ‘silence’. Why bother? Why try? Well you keep praying because prayer is comfort.

Prayer comforts you even when nothing happens! 

Besides, God does listen to every word you say. He sees your every need. He sees your past, present and future in the blink of an eye. He knows exactly what you need, when you need it, God’s ‘No’ could be a blessing in disguise. God may say no because it is not the right time. Maybe He has a much better plan in mind. And maybe He knows something that we don’t know. When my mother got cancer and I heard that she only had two to four months left to live, I got furious at God. Why didn’t He heal her if He had the power to. But God the Father said to me, “Honey, if I would tell you now why your mother passed away, you wouldn’t understand it. It would only upset you more. But I promise you that one day I will explain you everything”. God knows our pain and heartache. He knows what we want and what we need, and often those are two entirely different things. His ‘No’ could be the perfect answer. One day He will explain to me and to you, why He said ‘No’ that day. We will see everything through His eyes! But until then, we have to trust Him. We have to trust that God does what is right for us.

But God doesn’t say ‘No’ all the time. When you pray, believe that God can also say ‘Yes’. God can still do miracles and often He still does them. All we need is faith. Even if it is as tiny as a mustard seed. The tiniest faith it big enough for God and He hears everything you say. The smallest prayers do not pass God’s throne without Him hearing every single word. Keep praying, because God does what is right. Because God loves you!

(My encouragements may not make a lot of sense as I have written them, but it comes from a loving heart and I hope it will encourage you nonetheless) With love! 🙂

Worship

Worship

Love is a heart on fire,
where passion colors the soul red.
Inextinguishable is the joy,
of a heart that knows how to love.

When Your hands hold me,
I feel safe enough to let my guard down.
Comfortable in my own skin
I play in a pool of  shallow water,
where amusement makes me sing.

Wherever I go,
You are with me.
Wherever I am,
You hold me tight.
Wherever I was,
is simply forgotten –
forgiven is the heart that lives in love.

You are my passion.

You are my anchor in the storm.

Your light guides me home.

Worship is simply a love song.

 

 

 

A Joined Combat

A Joined Combat

In a constant battle,
I fight only a temporary war,
for with You  beside me,
the burden is split in two,
lifting the heavy yoke,
from underneath,
my trembling shoulders.

Your unwavering gaze,
attaches my heart to Yours,
and in Your loving sight,
I am never left unattended.
The love that connects us,
is our only way to overcome,
this endless battle of obstructions.

The requested trust,
I lay it in Your open hands,
buried in the strength of Your heart,
Your love carries us to completion,
where eternity begins today,
and the victory,
will set me in Your glory.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-30)

Life is often like a battle. A war where some things work out and others go horribly wrong. In whatever situation you are at the moment. No matter how hopeless your situation may seem. Remember that you do not fight this battle alone. The yoke you are carrying alone is lifted and Jesus shoulders are finding its way next to yours. He is carrying your burden with you. You are never out of His sight. He is holding you tight and together with Him, you will overcome your battle. God is with you….Always!

A Joined Combat

A journey

A Journey

In every age,
I walk the steps,
of golden treasures,
and silver plates.
Every angle,
is a broken reality.
Miracles,
a brand new day.

When eyes see,
a crucified love.
Imprisonment,
is an escape.
A creek holds,
a thousand raindrops.
My heart,
over a million tears.

Communication,
interrupts the emotions.
Emotions,
block the communication,
and speech is an impossible road.
The restriction is a feeling.
Your eyes,
a bottomless well,
in which I drown.

The seal on my lips,
cannot hide the lostness.
If my eyes had a sound,
they would scream.
But however I bounce on the door,
I threw away the key.
Now my heart,
lost the connection with my soul,
the key in pure oblivion.

The centuries of time,
swallowed the light-years,
yet not the memories.
In order to breathe,
I need to remember.
In order to live,
the Light has to heal my wings,
but the pain is unbearable.

If only I could speak.
If only I could feel.
The flood of words,
would equal my tears.
The tears would show,
my broken heart.
Your heart would catch my soul,
and I would finally find peace.

Unended,
is my road.
My road,
is a path of love,
on which I will find you back.
Our love,
is my strength.
This life,
a journey.

Under the chuppah

For two nights in a row, I received a vision. The vision showed me a wedding. I was looking through the eyes of the bride. Her face covered with a veil, my sight was through that veil. White chairs on each side, with an aisle in the middle. The wedding took place on a grassland surrounded with trees, as if it was a secluded garden. At the end of the aisle I saw a man in a nice black suit but I couldn’t see his face. I knew he was the groom, because nobody was sitting on the seats and besides us, there was nobody there. The groom was standing underneath a beautiful white chuppah, dressed with white roses. Those same white roses where in a bouquet that I was holding in my hands. The wedding was about to start. And as soon as the image came, it left me.

Today I turned this vision into a poem. Before I started many bible verses came to mind that allowed me to understand the vision better. The bible verse that described the vision best is Isaiah 62:5, which says,

“As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you”.

After this, I looked into the chuppah. In my vision I saw it clearly and I was curious if there was a special meaning to it. During my research I discovered that the chuppah symbolizes so many different things. It was so interesting to read. What stood out to me was the following. The groom enter’s the chuppah first, which symbolises his ownership over the home (the chuppah also symbolises a home) on behalf of the couple. When the bride enters the chuppah, it is as though the groom is proving her with shelter or clothing. With this he publicly demonstrates his new responsibilities towards her.

The reason this stood out to me is because it symbolises our relationship with God so beautifully. When we give our lives/hearts to God, we marry Him in a way. It is as if God is waiting for us under the chuppah and as we (the bride) enter the chuppah, God publicly demonstrates to all living things that He is now responsible for us. It deepens our bond with Him. It connects us to Him on so many different levels. God loves us so much.

I hope this makes any sense to you but if it doesn’t, take the poem as you read it. Let it find a way into your heart and find your own meaning in the words. Because that is the beauty about poetry, it can be read in so many different ways. This is mine and I am so curious….what is yours?

Enjoy the poem (in the picture)

Under the chuppah

A Free Spirit

A Free Spirit

Like a firefly in a jar,
I feel caught in a web –
inescapable is a glass home.

Without holes in the lid,
oxygen escapes on the wind –
unbreathable is the toxic air.

The light slowly dims,
accompanied by my cries –
lost is the heart that has no hope.

Freedom comes from the one,
who knows how to love –
unbreakable is the string,
that connects one heart to the other.

You Lord understand my freedom,
You put the wind underneath my wings,
You understand the endless miles I fly,
to be one with the free spirit within.

Which wings do you have?

There is nothing more breakable than the wings of a butterfly. The slightest touch can break these little fragile wings. In life we often feel like these butterfly wings. We feel as if the least bit of hurt can break us. This state of anxiety does not necessarily have to be noticeably present, it often lingers underneath the surface. Of course we are aware that we can stand a little bit of hurt, as long as it is not too much.

We live our life, trying to avoid as much problems as possible. When problems occur we analyze them until we are certain that it wasn’t our fault. This way we keep ourselves up right, because we know that when it was our faults, our Wings may break. So as long as we keep ourselves out of the wind, we are fine.

Unfortunately life does not always agree with this.  Neither does our heart and mind by the way. The other day I released my poem ‘Mind Game’. Because that is what life really is. It is all a mind game. We trick our minds to feel well, even if our hearts disagree because we hope that somehow our hearts will catch up with it. Which it most often does! But how long can we trick ourselves this way? How long can we fool ourselves. ‘Mind Game’ was inspired by something Jesus told me. Having a generalized anxiety disorder is not easy and it often brings me in trouble. For a long time this mind game has worked out fine, until last year.

Losing my mom pulled me over the edge. I started to doubt myself immensely. To the point where I pleaded with God to help me out, and this is what I learned. Jesus said, “Tell yourself that I love you. I know your heart will not believe it now, because you are in so much pain, but in time your heart will catch up with your mind”. The love of Jesus is actually all we need. We don’t need to trick our minds by telling ourselves things that we don’t yet believe in, in the hope that one day the fearful or hateful thoughts about ourselves go away. All we need is the love of Jesus. It is all we need to set ourselves free. Regardless of what you have done in life (or failed to do), regardless of what you do and how good or bad you are at doing it, Jesus loves you, end of discussion.

We are trying so hard to be perfect, to look perfect and to be a certain way that we forget the love of Jesus so easily. Of course we fool ourselves that we don’t  but that is merely lying to ourselves. You see, Jesus could have said, “Honey, just tell yourself that you are not afraid, and one day your heart will catch up with your mind”. But that would not have fixed my anxiety disorder. Whether or not I will ever heal of this disorder is beside the point. The point is that it is easier for me to remain calm if I simply focus on the mere fact that Jesus loves me. I can prevent freaking out over petty little fears by knowing that Jesus loves me. The love of Jesus allows me to say, “It didn’t work out today, but maybe tomorrow it will”. The love of Jesus does not necessarily heal me, but it takes me a lot further than playing tricks on my mind does.

Sometimes it takes us to embrace our problems, so we can deal with them or overcome them. Fighting is not the solution, love is. You cannot control your life, problems, people around you or the world, but you can control your faith in the simple fact that Jesus loves you.

The beauty is also that as we focus on our fragile butterfly wings that can break so easily, God is focussing on our massive eagle wings instead. Mother Theresa said it so beautifully, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle, I just wish He didn’t trust me so much”. God has an entirely different view on us as we do. Where we see problems, God see solutions, Where we see ugly, God sees beauty, where we see hate, God finds love in the midst of all evil. God us smarter than us, so why don’t we give it a try. Why don’t we start seeing things from His perspective a little more. Fun fact is, that whenever I fuss over the way I look, Jesus tells me (He Always does this!!!), “Stop doing that, you are beautiful just as you are.” Jesus thinks that I am beautiful without make up, dressed in a turtle neck and just a little bit fat (or a lot, that depends on perspective) Where I see my little, fragile butterfly wings, Jesus points out my massive eagle wings.

The end of the story….Life is a mind game, life is a matter of perspective. Which do you choose?

Multidimensional

Multidimensional

 One light beam represents,
one life,
one event,
one moment.

The prism represents,
the eyes of God.

One light beam is merely a light beam,
the prism is deeply underestimated.

If you shine the light beam,
through that mere prism,
you will see an astounding rainbow.

If you see your life,
through the eyes of God,
an event is not just an event,
but a multidimensional soul,
beaming to all the corners of the universe.