Our first love

Our first love

The wonder of birth,
will never cease to amaze me.
With one gasp of air,
we become one with life –
the first of many choices,
we will ever make on earth.

We breathe,
because we love,
and because we love,
we breathe.

Love and life are connected,
more than we ever realize.
Without life we cannot love,
and without love,
we cannot live our life.

If love is so important,
so vital in our circle of life,
why then do we love so little?

We put ourselves first,
without considering,
that an empty world,
leaves us desolate.

When we are born,
we love our mother.
Without that love,
we die.
Why then do we believe,
we can live alone,
for the rest of our life?

A life without people,
is an empty life,
for only through people,
we can learn,
the most selfless love,
that has ever existed.

To learn the depths of love,
we must be willing,
to look beyond ourselves.
For in the beginning of life,
we did not love ourselves first,
NO,
our first love,
belonged to our mother.

For most of my life, I was bullied, emotionally abused, rejected, and I had/have so little friends that I believed that I was better off alone. This year nearly took my life, not by COVID-19 but by loneliness. When one is rejected and alone for so long, one can get the idea that life alone is the only option. That is why I always said to myself, “It is me and God against the world”, believing there was nobody out there for me. But during the pandemic, I have learned that this is a lie. Humans are created to live together in whatever shape or size that is. The walls are slowly coming down around me and even though I am still finding my place in this life, the growth I have experienced was necessary and so important. That was the sole reason for this poem. Nobody is supposed to live a life alone! No one! And yet, there are so many, like me, who face this struggle every day. I am so blessed with my immediate family but there are those who have no one! Let us take the coming holiday season to look out for those who are alone! Give them something to look forward to. Give them love, a place at your table, a place in your life. You have no idea what it will mean to them! xox Gineke.

The dance of the starlings

The dance of  the starlings

As the content of my soul,
is spilled on the white marble floor,
the history of nature forces me,
to let her guide me along the way.  
Through the raindrops I fall down.
Through the fog I rise again,
but the sun remains behind the clouds,
until time is ready to show her off again.
Rainbows bring hope and promises,
of new beginnings and better times,
where the grass is finally greener,
on my side of the meadows,
and where birds joyfully fly.
Life has an art of falling and rising,
like the dance of starlings in the sky,
where one never knows the next step,
but the heart always follows the rhythm of the music,
the soul plays at that particular time.
As my arms spread and my hands open,
I catch the first raindrops of the season,
bringing the joy of my heart to the surface.
However dark the seasons are,
the knowledge of what is ahead,
softens the cracks in my broken heart,
teaching me that the negative will never last.
So, even when I do not know the future,
or what my next step on this road will be,
love is teaching me that greatest endurance,
is learning to dance in the pouring rain,
for the future that is already in sight.

Roots

Roots

Roots dig deep,
at the rivershore,
laying a firm foundation,
for the old cottage.
The water rises,
the wind blows through the trees,
bowing and breaking the branches,
but the roots do not give in.
As the sun sets behind the horizon,
the country roads become dark,
and the foxes come out of their holes to play,
still the roots protect the house,
for whatever is built on love,
will never fall,
and whoever relies,
on this firm foundation,
will find goodness,
for the rest of his life.

A life well loved!

A life well loved!

A life lived without love,
would kill the strongest flower,
but surrounded by love,
even the smallest flower shall bloom.
In order to give our love,
we need to receive it as well.
It is a vicious circle,
that we desperately need to survive.
We find love through companionship,
through a gentle touch,
or a simple conversation.
In order to really love in life,
we need to look around,
and love each other.

Just like flower petals,
wrapping themselves around one another,
that is how I need you,
to wrap your arms around me.
For my emotions to be unlocked,
I need your love to fill me up.
Overwhelm me with your presence,
however small or fragile it may be,
and I will smile again,
breathe again,
and live again!

chrysanthemum yellow red

New Rays of Hope

New Rays of Hope

Trees dance in the rain,
as a sparrow shakes his feathers dry,
on the soft sound of the piano keys.

The hot steaming liquid in my mug,
reminds me of the fireplace at home,
but the beach is to inviting to leave now.

Storms on the shore take my tears,
and send them along with the wind,
in bittersweet love letters to far away places.

Small towns are like warms blankets,
keeping the cold out of the weary heart,
where it begs for love to find her.

As an artistic flow of creativity touches me,
I can only take what I have left in my hands,
for it to find a way to come surging out.

With a pencil in hand I sketch the night away,
for the morning to arrive in words and pictures,
that align with the Divine connection with my soul.

For a short moment longer the sea rages on,
and I witness the dark clouds disappear in the distance,
only for the rainbow to whisper the new rays of hope.

New rays of hope

 

When the heart burns

When the heart burns

Every step I take,
my empty heart burns,
like a forest on fire.
Trying to rescue life,
in all its forms,
I make a decision,
to fight.

The sun on the horizon,
promises me hope,
but how can I believe,
in a new land,
when the old one,
is still burning?

Letting go of sorrow,
feels like the end,
of my very last breath,
overwhelming me with fear,
until I decide,
to breathe again.

Every step I take,
my empty heart burns,
so lay it on the ground,
to find life without it,
but how can I live,
without my heart?

Every season,
teaches us lessons,
but this season appears,
the hardest of them all,
so I have to believe,
that the lesson of this season,
will be the biggest one,
I have ever learned.

DSCN0641
Photograph made by: Gineke van Keulen!

 

In a black and white world

In a black and white world

The sky is grey and gloomy,
the earth is covered in black and white,
and nature has never been this mystical.

Arches form doors to different realms,
as mountains enclose the waters.
I follow the river to the end of the horizon,
in order to find the end of my dream.

Heavy burdens way me down,
but my wings are still strong enough,
to keep me floating above the clear water.

Angels guide me along my journey,
and the Spirit leads me along the way.
All I must do is follow His guidance,
with a trust greater than the doubts in my heart.

Now I know that life is not about the dream,
but about learning to keep yourself floating,
in world that is too often black and white.

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Broken Dreams

Broken dreams

As the fallen snow turns into ice,
the freezing cold blows me away,
forcing an ice-age into the summer,
where icicles melt in the desert heat,
and water is a burden instead of a relief.

My eyes hurt with burning pains,
the tears have turned into dry salt,
while fire burns my skin to the bone.
I’m blaming the snow-storm in the desert,
for its lack of interest in the growing pains.
Selfishness is always the beginning of nothing,
but when I search for something,
selfishness comes knocking at my door.

My life has never been my own,
no matter how I wrestled with the universe,
it never chose my side in the storm.
Now I’m fighting thin air on the steep slope,
beating me into the thick trees on the road.

As I lay down in the snow and pray,
the daisies cheer me up with their mandolin music,
and the sun warms my face with peace,
until Love breaks the centre of my soul,
and thick teardrops work its way down,
for the broken dreams I never wanted to give up.

Bring back my broken dreams,
and plant them in the ground,
to grow them into rose bushes.
So my dreams will never get lost in the snow,
and my teardrops are not a waste in the universe.
Give them a place in Your paradise,
so Your children can find their way home.

Broken dreams 

 

The intersection of life

The intersection of life

In the middle of the forest,
pictures show me many sights,
to unfold a labyrinth in my mind.
With the key in my hands I walk,
until the soles of my shoes are worn out.
Deeper and deeper into the tangled mess,
my breath quickens and my heart races.
If the Light is still in sight,
why then does this road lead me here?
Further into the forest,
where darkness surrounds me,
I am tricked by my own imagination.
Learning to see the Light in the darkness,
I first have to separate the darkness from the Light.
Panic is the inability to connect with your soul,
and I haven’t connected with mine for years.
Still Your voice asks me to walk on,
and I walk until the road ends.
There on the intersection of life,
when all control has been taken out of my hands,
You ask me to let go in trust.
On my knees I plead for mercy,
until I have nothing more to say,
and I collapse on the cold cobblestones.
With the rain washing the last black stains away,
butterflies start to flutter out of my hair,
onto the roses that grow in my hands,
Sometimes in order to gain life,
you have to give it up.
In the silence the cold nights slowly heat up again,
until a small fire resurfaces in my fragile heart.
Doors can only be opened,
when we give the key to the One who owns life.
Ways can only be paved,
by the One who created them in the first place.
As the sky clears and the forest fades,
the smile on Your face hands me my victory,
for all I had to do to succeed,
is to let go of the control within me.

The intersection of life

 

 

 

Mind Game

Mind Game

Life on display,
asks you who you are,
where you come from,
and where you go.

Life is a war,
where beauty fights ugly,
where truth fights lies,
where realism fights surrealism,
where rich fights poverty,
where success fights failure,
but it is up to you,
to decide,
where you stand.

Life is a stage,
where judges define,
who we are.
Where a mask hides our identity,
so we remain inside a fiction,
for the rest of our lives.

Life on display,
asks us to have courage.
It asks us to break the masks of lies,
in order to live inside the truth,
of who were are.

Life is a mind game,
where we tell ourselves,
who we are,
and where the whole world,
remains silent!