The leaves have fallen,
the rose has withered,
and snowflakes bury it,
in a blanket of ice,
preserving life for the spring.
Teardrops on rose petals,
the past flies away,
on the cold winter wind,
and I learn,
to hope for the spring.
Out of nothing,
new life is born,
when I bring my soul,
to the heart of the light,
where rosebuds are born in the spring,
and petals unfold in the summer.
Calm and chaos,
yin and yang,
darkness and light,
the scale balances,
with the weights,
always on the good side.
An attempt is made,
to bring peace,
to create harmony in our life.
Forever balancing,
on a tight rope,
until we fall,
or until the rope breaks.
Tears fall in laughter,
laughter echoes its tears –
we live in complete oblivion,
to how we really feel.
Still we balance the scale,
either left or right,
and uncontrollable in our power,
we try to control the outcome,
in our short, and precious time.
Calm and chaos,
yin and yang,
darkness and light,
the question is,
do we choose to follow darkness?
Or do we choose to follow light?
Where I lay my focus,
my heart makes a home,
to create,
either peace,
or absolute chaos,
and my world,
becomes like a solar system,
where everything turns,
like the planets,
around one sun,
forgetting that even a Milky Way,
is part of something,
greater than herself!
So, if I want to make a home,
in a place that lasts forever,
I have to lay my focus,
on something greater than myself,
where humility will teach me,
that when I am not in control,
the greatest peace will find me,
right in my own home!
A rose blooms in the snow,
gently caressed by the sun,
who softly strikes the petals with her fingers.
Below ground life prepares itself,
for new changes in the spring,
as the acorns are looking for their owners.
I cry like an eagle across the Grand Canyon,
searching for water between the deep cliffs,
but the light feeds me from the inside.
My wings dance in the sky,
where my feet make pirouettes on thin ice.
Faith is believing in the greatest outcome,
like a rose blooming in midwinter!
Purple dresses reflect sunlight,
wrapped in red sashes they reflect the soul.
Golden bracelets start joyful music,
where feet dance to the melody of the heart.
I look at her auburn hair,
bouncing on the light steps of her life.
I hear her laughter like sweet melodies.
She is a reminder of a past life,
which formed the start of my current journey.
A trip to faraway places,
where sweet spices make me dream,
and foreign languages fill my heart with wonder.
I walk into the Ganges river and submerge,
to resurface in the river Jordan,
where I start my pilgrimage to Rome.
My feet dance on the sound of tambourine.
I fall asleep on relaxing soprano melodies.
This journey brings me back to life,
as past, present, and future collide,
in a beautiful array of colors,
that reflect every essence of my soul.
I am more than I currently know,
more real than any dream I ever dreamed before.
And as I await the gates of Heaven, I know,
my life was lived to the fullest,
in the utmost sense of joy!
In my disbelief
When the land is in sight,
after an endless journey,
my heart fills with joy,
until I remember,
that the last steps,
are usually the hardest.
With the sweat on my brow,
I cry silent tears,
in my hopeless heart.
Is it a fata morgana?
An illusion in my mind?
In the extreme exhaustion,
my heart becomes confused,
wondering whether I had it right.
Was this the land,
the land that God asked me to go to?
Or was I mistaken,
wrong about everything I thought,
God spoke to me in dreams?
I pray,
first silently,
then louder and louder,
until my heart screams,
“Why have you forsaken me”?
The inches I walk become slower,
until I stand still in awe of myself,
my misunderstanding,
my hopes and dreams in something,
that might never be.
So, now I am at a crossroad.
Wondering whether to continue,
this extreme endurance,
or whether to go back,
to the life I knew before.
I do not know…
So, I wait for the silent whisper,
gently encouraging me,
to put my one foot,
in front of the other,
in blind courage,
in blind faith,
of an invisible God,
a promise I cannot see,
a situation that seems,
impossible.
Faith is like a mustard seed,
that fell into the ground,
and died.
As my heart is slowly dying,
I know a tree will spring up,
in the depth of my heart,
with strong roots,
able to conquer any storm.
Looking around this endless desert,
I still see the small houses,
shimmering at the horizon,
and no matter how impossible it may seem,
I know,
all I have to do is believe,
that those houses,
no matter how unreal they seem,
are put there for me.
Victory comes to those,
who choose to go on,
when everything inside,
tells them to give up!
So, I choose victory,
in whatever form it comes,
so that one day I can tell,
a world of disbelief,
that the Spirit kept me going,
when I could not belief.
To God be the glory,
for He was with me!
A Lesson in Strength
A storm in a glass of water,
maybe that was all I had to endure,
but for me it was a tornado,
a giant flood overwhelming me.
I needed the world to stop,
for my life to come to a halt.
I needed panic to take me over,
and fear to pierce a way through my heart.
In order for us to become stronger,
we first have to become weaker.
For strength can only enter our soul,
if it defeats all the negative inside us,
and diminishes our fears and doubts.
When the mind grows stronger,
it allows our faith to grow,
so we can learn to trust ourselves.
Like a seed in the dark earth,
first has to die,
in order to bloom in its brightest colors,
that is how our dark hearts,
first has to die inside of us,
in order to become strong and invincible.
When we are willing to face our fear,
we are able to defeat them in the battle.
If we are willing to work on ourselves,
the victory of self-growth will be ours.
The lesson of strength,
has been the most valuable in my life,
for it has taught me,
that when you do not give up,
anything is possible.
The key is to put one foot in front of the other,
to breathe one breath at the time,
to force your heart to keep on beating,
when the darkness seems to engulf you.
But the greatest help in this process,
was a man on a cross,
who rose from the dead,
and who believed in me,
long before I did.
The road to pure strength,
goes through deep dark valleys,
and over high mountains,
but at the end of the road,
the prize of self-love,
understanding, wisdom, and confidence,
is worth everything!
Photo: taken by myself at a bamboo forest in France in 2014!
A Chance for Rebirth
Feelings are lost in a chaotic mess of emotions,
I try to untangle the knots in the threads,
but somehow the frame remains broken,
and the paint is slowly dripping from the canvas.
Am I losing myself in this seemingly endless battle?
Do we all lose ourselves at some moment in life?
Losing is winning in an upside-down world,
like returning to my mother’s womb is a chance for rebirth.
Rediscovering the new and old assets of my soul,
allows me to look at the painting with a clearer mind,
while I pick up a brush to fill in the blanks,
with new vibrant colors I find in my reborn heart.
If losing myself forces me to be recreated,
by the One who created me in the first place,
then maybe trust is the only way to unlock my bolted heart,
to a new and brighter future I could ever dream of.
New Rays of Hope
Trees dance in the rain,
as a sparrow shakes his feathers dry,
on the soft sound of the piano keys.
The hot steaming liquid in my mug,
reminds me of the fireplace at home,
but the beach is to inviting to leave now.
Storms on the shore take my tears,
and send them along with the wind,
in bittersweet love letters to far away places.
Small towns are like warms blankets,
keeping the cold out of the weary heart,
where it begs for love to find her.
As an artistic flow of creativity touches me,
I can only take what I have left in my hands,
for it to find a way to come surging out.
With a pencil in hand I sketch the night away,
for the morning to arrive in words and pictures,
that align with the Divine connection with my soul.
For a short moment longer the sea rages on,
and I witness the dark clouds disappear in the distance,
only for the rainbow to whisper the new rays of hope.
When the heart burns
Every step I take,
my empty heart burns,
like a forest on fire.
Trying to rescue life,
in all its forms,
I make a decision,
to fight.
The sun on the horizon,
promises me hope,
but how can I believe,
in a new land,
when the old one,
is still burning?
Letting go of sorrow,
feels like the end,
of my very last breath,
overwhelming me with fear,
until I decide,
to breathe again.
Every step I take,
my empty heart burns,
so lay it on the ground,
to find life without it,
but how can I live,
without my heart?
Every season,
teaches us lessons,
but this season appears,
the hardest of them all,
so I have to believe,
that the lesson of this season,
will be the biggest one,
I have ever learned.
Photograph made by: Gineke van Keulen!
Gineke van Keulen 