The Giant Tree

The Giant Tree

The bare trees die,
to gain back life in the spring.
Bald in their battle to survive,
they take on a glorious splendor,
when the fruit touch the branches,
and blossoms paint the landscape,
in bright vibrant colors.

Deep in the ground,
roots are the essence of life.
an armor against the storm.
Further and deeper they dig,
until strength is not a question,
but the answer to life.

The Giant Tree,
in the middle of the garden,
the only survivor among its kind,
feeds and shelters wildlife.
Where Life gives life-
sharing His blossom-love,
the wisdom of His roots-
fruit will grow.

The small fragile roots,
intertwine in The Giant Tree’s,
growing in His shadow,
learning His wisdom.
There I grow into a tree,
to spread the blossom-love,
that He laid upon my branches.

Blossom-love spreads,
on a spring-day,
when the sun turns,
and the shadows,
are no longer a sanctuary,
but a revelation of light,
to bear fruit for the garden,
of The Giant Tree.
the giant tree

For if  we have been united together in the likeness of His death,
certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection!
Romans 6:5
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jesus’ Final Prayer

Jesus’ Final Prayer

Landslides tear my heart in two.
Silently I wait for the tsunami,
to flood my burning heart,
until peace has redeemed it from its pain.

My voice is numbed by the many prayers,
spoken with perseverance and repetition.
But I feel as if Your deaf ears have denied,
my heartfelt request that is always present.

Tears are an undeniable consequence,
to a rejected heart, silenced by fear.
When prayers are left unanswered,
the desert will slowly kill me in my grief.

Where are You, oh Mighty Creator?
Why have You forsaken me?
This cup, too full to drink,
is shaking at my quivering lips.

Now that I have spoken my final prayer,
my final breath escapes my painful lungs,
and in the silent darkness I am fully aware,
I have overcome the greatest test.

Jesus knows how you feel inside. He has been where you are now! In the garden of Gethsemane Jesus prayed to His Father, “Oh My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will”. (Matthew 26:39) Jesus was so afraid of what was coming His way, the suffering and crucifixion, that He sweated drops of blood. An angel had to come to give Him strength, but God didn’t answer His prayer. In fact, God remained silent. Jesus had to suffer for our sins despite His deep fear.

Then on the cross, Jesus prayed His final prayer to His Father by saying, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani”? Which is translated, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me”? (Mark 15:34). Jesus felt abandoned, just like me and you. We all feel abandoned by God at times, especially when we desperately need Him to act. When our loved ones are dying, when we suffer from health issues or when we are plagued by financial struggles. When we pray, we want God to answer and when He doesn’t, we feel alone, abandoned, afraid and angry. These are all human feelings that Jesus felt too. He knows how you feel, so when you go through a season of hardship and you are left with so many questions. When you are crying out to God for help but the answered hasn’t come yet, remember that Jesus knows how you feel because He felt the same.

Jesus loves you so much. He holds you in His arms and tells you, “I know how you feel, just lean on me, I will help you because I love you more than you can ever comprehend”.

Build your identity with Jesus

Your identity is like a house. A house that is being built over many years. It works like this;

Your identity is who you are. The foundation, the root or essence of who you are, is a child of God. You are first and foremost a child of God. That is your foundation. Everything else are bricks. With everything else I mean; you are a wife/husband, mother/father, sister/brother, aunt/uncle, niece/nephew, friend, member of a church, teacher, athlete, lawyer, painter, music lover, nature lover, reader, volunteer and so on. Everything that you believe you are. All of those things are bricks.

Jesus is the one who hands you these bricks. Everything that you have and that you are is given to you by Jesus. It is up to you to accept it! It all depends on how much you trust Jesus. He has your best interest at heart but do you believe that?  Do you believe that Jesus wants to make you strong, beautiful, happy and loved? When you do, your house – your identity –  will be rock-solid!

Your whole life is used to build this house, this identity. Every day of your life, you keep collecting, accepting and denying new bricks. Sometimes a piece of wall will fall apart because you denied a brick you really needed and you have to start all over again. But if you trust Jesus, if you accept what He gives you, He will help you to build a good and steady house!

Your house is finished when you die. Until you die, you keep adding bricks, a pieces, to your identity. The moment you die however, Jesus puts the final touches to your house. He makes it even more beautiful than it already is and more beautiful than you could ever imagine! So when you enter the gates of Heaven, your brand-new house is waiting for you, where you will live in for all eternity.

What you do today matters! Who you decide to be today matters! Trust Jesus in everything for He never makes mistakes. He knows you, loves you and has your best interest at heart! His love will make you brand-new!

Build your identity with Jesus

“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock”. (Matthew 7: 24-25)

You know how much I love You

You know how much I love You

How can I describe my feelings?
How can I describe the contents of my heart?
When I look at You all logics fade,
and my heart pounds like that of an antelope,
who only just escaped a hungry lion.
The world disappears from my sight,
for my eyes can only perceive You –
nothing else matters to me but You.
If only You would know how much I love You!
My heart languishes for You,
in the brief moments when You are not with me,
I cannot exist without You by my side.
Still I know that I am one of many,
still I understand that I have to know my place.
But when You ask me,
if I love You more than others?
Then yes Lord, You know how much I do,
You know how much I love You!

You know how much I love You

“The third time Jesus said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?”
Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

John 21: 17

A beacon in the night

A beacon in the night

In a hardened world,
a leopard better hunts alone,
if he wants food before the night falls.

How is it then,
that the leopard dies of hunger,
and the pride of lions eat their meal?

Together is better than alone,
for a multitude of eyes see more,
than one single set alone.

Once rejected,
it is difficult to find your way,
your place back in the pride.
But the victory is for those,
who don’t give up.

Remember that I AM,
always by your side.
I pave the way for the weak,
and I support the crushed in spirit.

Unable to snatch you,
out of my loving hands,
the flowers will never fall,
and the grass will never wither.

My love is your beacon in the night,
a lamp that shines before your feet,
and the embrace that holds you up.

Before the night falls,
the light will remove the darkness,
so that the night will never fall again.

A beacon in the night

 

 

When God says ‘No’.

We all have those days, or weeks, where things are not going according to plan. Last week was one of those weeks for me. My dad was on holiday, so I planned a calm and relaxing week for myself (I life with my parents and since my mother passed away last year, I now life with my dad)

But my plans quickly went down the drain. My dog got sick. He remained sick all week and I was busy all day looking after him. At the end of the week, my dog seemed to be getting better, when he left an unpleasant surprise for me on the kitchen floor. I had a busy day the next day and I was unable to cancel any of it. So I started to worry. If I would leave my dog alone all day, it was waiting for another nasty surprise on the kitchenfloor but I also had my responsibilities. I didn’t consider praying about it because I decided to just trust that things would turn out fine in the end. I told myself not to worry and I tried to push the worry out of my mind. Of course this didn’t work but I tried not to make a big deal out of it, like I usually do.

The next morning God surprised me with some unexpected grace. Instead of working (a cleaning job I have at the family firm that is now ran by my brother), my brother texted me if I could babysit instead. Even though I hadn’t prayed about it, God knew exactly what I needed, when I needed it. I was so pleasantly surprised and humbled by the grace of God that day, that I couldn’t stop smiling.

This taught me a valuable lesson. I was always taught that God doesn’t give, what you haven’t first asked for. I believed this my entire life. If you want God to do something, you have to ask Him first, otherwise He is not going to do it. But this moment taught me that God doesn’t need our prayers to create miracles. God loves us so much that He watches our every move. He looks at us so intently with love, grace and mercy. He sees where our life meets a crossroad and He knows exactly what we need to get through that.

During my life, my prayers were hardly ever answered. I pray a lot but my personal prayers are often answered with ‘No’. The prayers for others however are often more succesful but it has caused me to not pray for myself, unless it is highly necessary. I tell God what bothers me but I don’t ask for anything. If I ask for something, I don’t expect God to actually do it. It is a survival mechanism that I taught myself, so I won’t get upset if the answer is ‘No’ again. (which it often is) I know that God loves me but prayer time has always been a bit awkward to me. Why ask if you don’t receive anyway? I think because it comforts me. At least God knows and He cannot say that I never told Him. This may sound foreign to you, but this is what prayertime became for me. A questionable conversation where I talk and God listens but if He acts upon it is very unsure.

Anyway, God surprising me with something that I hadn’t even asked for. He more or less restored my faith in prayer a little. Just because God says ‘No’ 90% of the time doesn’t mean it is no all of the time. I have to rely on the remaining 10%. There is still a chance that God says ‘Yes’ and it is a 10% worth praying for. Maybe you feel just like me. You wonder why you should still pray and when people start about God’s grace and mercy, you stop listening because the answer is always ‘No’ or ‘silence’. Why bother? Why try? Well you keep praying because prayer is comfort.

Prayer comforts you even when nothing happens! 

Besides, God does listen to every word you say. He sees your every need. He sees your past, present and future in the blink of an eye. He knows exactly what you need, when you need it, God’s ‘No’ could be a blessing in disguise. God may say no because it is not the right time. Maybe He has a much better plan in mind. And maybe He knows something that we don’t know. When my mother got cancer and I heard that she only had two to four months left to live, I got furious at God. Why didn’t He heal her if He had the power to. But God the Father said to me, “Honey, if I would tell you now why your mother passed away, you wouldn’t understand it. It would only upset you more. But I promise you that one day I will explain you everything”. God knows our pain and heartache. He knows what we want and what we need, and often those are two entirely different things. His ‘No’ could be the perfect answer. One day He will explain to me and to you, why He said ‘No’ that day. We will see everything through His eyes! But until then, we have to trust Him. We have to trust that God does what is right for us.

But God doesn’t say ‘No’ all the time. When you pray, believe that God can also say ‘Yes’. God can still do miracles and often He still does them. All we need is faith. Even if it is as tiny as a mustard seed. The tiniest faith it big enough for God and He hears everything you say. The smallest prayers do not pass God’s throne without Him hearing every single word. Keep praying, because God does what is right. Because God loves you!

(My encouragements may not make a lot of sense as I have written them, but it comes from a loving heart and I hope it will encourage you nonetheless) With love! 🙂

A Joined Combat

A Joined Combat

In a constant battle,
I fight only a temporary war,
for with You  beside me,
the burden is split in two,
lifting the heavy yoke,
from underneath,
my trembling shoulders.

Your unwavering gaze,
attaches my heart to Yours,
and in Your loving sight,
I am never left unattended.
The love that connects us,
is our only way to overcome,
this endless battle of obstructions.

The requested trust,
I lay it in Your open hands,
buried in the strength of Your heart,
Your love carries us to completion,
where eternity begins today,
and the victory,
will set me in Your glory.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-30)

Life is often like a battle. A war where some things work out and others go horribly wrong. In whatever situation you are at the moment. No matter how hopeless your situation may seem. Remember that you do not fight this battle alone. The yoke you are carrying alone is lifted and Jesus shoulders are finding its way next to yours. He is carrying your burden with you. You are never out of His sight. He is holding you tight and together with Him, you will overcome your battle. God is with you….Always!

A Joined Combat

Which wings do you have?

There is nothing more breakable than the wings of a butterfly. The slightest touch can break these little fragile wings. In life we often feel like these butterfly wings. We feel as if the least bit of hurt can break us. This state of anxiety does not necessarily have to be noticeably present, it often lingers underneath the surface. Of course we are aware that we can stand a little bit of hurt, as long as it is not too much.

We live our life, trying to avoid as much problems as possible. When problems occur we analyze them until we are certain that it wasn’t our fault. This way we keep ourselves up right, because we know that when it was our faults, our Wings may break. So as long as we keep ourselves out of the wind, we are fine.

Unfortunately life does not always agree with this.  Neither does our heart and mind by the way. The other day I released my poem ‘Mind Game’. Because that is what life really is. It is all a mind game. We trick our minds to feel well, even if our hearts disagree because we hope that somehow our hearts will catch up with it. Which it most often does! But how long can we trick ourselves this way? How long can we fool ourselves. ‘Mind Game’ was inspired by something Jesus told me. Having a generalized anxiety disorder is not easy and it often brings me in trouble. For a long time this mind game has worked out fine, until last year.

Losing my mom pulled me over the edge. I started to doubt myself immensely. To the point where I pleaded with God to help me out, and this is what I learned. Jesus said, “Tell yourself that I love you. I know your heart will not believe it now, because you are in so much pain, but in time your heart will catch up with your mind”. The love of Jesus is actually all we need. We don’t need to trick our minds by telling ourselves things that we don’t yet believe in, in the hope that one day the fearful or hateful thoughts about ourselves go away. All we need is the love of Jesus. It is all we need to set ourselves free. Regardless of what you have done in life (or failed to do), regardless of what you do and how good or bad you are at doing it, Jesus loves you, end of discussion.

We are trying so hard to be perfect, to look perfect and to be a certain way that we forget the love of Jesus so easily. Of course we fool ourselves that we don’t  but that is merely lying to ourselves. You see, Jesus could have said, “Honey, just tell yourself that you are not afraid, and one day your heart will catch up with your mind”. But that would not have fixed my anxiety disorder. Whether or not I will ever heal of this disorder is beside the point. The point is that it is easier for me to remain calm if I simply focus on the mere fact that Jesus loves me. I can prevent freaking out over petty little fears by knowing that Jesus loves me. The love of Jesus allows me to say, “It didn’t work out today, but maybe tomorrow it will”. The love of Jesus does not necessarily heal me, but it takes me a lot further than playing tricks on my mind does.

Sometimes it takes us to embrace our problems, so we can deal with them or overcome them. Fighting is not the solution, love is. You cannot control your life, problems, people around you or the world, but you can control your faith in the simple fact that Jesus loves you.

The beauty is also that as we focus on our fragile butterfly wings that can break so easily, God is focussing on our massive eagle wings instead. Mother Theresa said it so beautifully, “I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle, I just wish He didn’t trust me so much”. God has an entirely different view on us as we do. Where we see problems, God see solutions, Where we see ugly, God sees beauty, where we see hate, God finds love in the midst of all evil. God us smarter than us, so why don’t we give it a try. Why don’t we start seeing things from His perspective a little more. Fun fact is, that whenever I fuss over the way I look, Jesus tells me (He Always does this!!!), “Stop doing that, you are beautiful just as you are.” Jesus thinks that I am beautiful without make up, dressed in a turtle neck and just a little bit fat (or a lot, that depends on perspective) Where I see my little, fragile butterfly wings, Jesus points out my massive eagle wings.

The end of the story….Life is a mind game, life is a matter of perspective. Which do you choose?

Clarity

Clarity

 Millions of Multi-colored ribbons,
I gently hang them in the acorn tree,
where they blow joyfully in the wind,
celebrating life, birth and growth.

 As the peaceful green compliments the truthful white,
the trustworthy pink rejoices with the friendly yellow,
red passionately loves through the mindful blue,
but the spiritual purple holds them all together.
One cannot exist without the other,
their harmonious display creates a unity,
only the heavens are aware of.

 Through all the seasons of life,
the million multi-colored ribbons fight,
but only cooperation brings victory.

 The night sets in and I enkindle My lantern,
hoping that the illumination brings clarity.
As I watch the ribbons fight in the wind,
My children take me by the hand to encourage me.
Therefore giving each of them a lantern,
I help them put the lanterns in the tree,
so My light expels the darkness,
togetherness will bring unity,
and cooperation establishes peace.

 All I hope that they will see…is Me!

Trust

Trust

Trust is letting go,
when all you want to do,
is to hold tight.

Like sinking sand,
trust tells you to stand still,
when life swallows you up.

When fear is driving you mad,
trust forces you to remain calm.

In the tornado of emotions,
the eye of the storm is at the center.
It is the only place of silence,
where love clears the mind  from tensions.

When questions exasperate you,
answer will not satisfy your soul.

Like a bird,
jumping from one branch to another,
your mind,
skips from thought to thought,
longing for answers.

Trust is letting go,
when all you want to do,
is to hold tight!

Trust