Self-Acceptance

I close my eyes,
allowing my breath,
to flow fluently,
in and out of my lungs.
My mind eases,
and my heart finds peace,
in this moment.
In my mind’s eye,
a white lotus flower,
slowly opens her petals,
until she radiates,
her unique beauty.
Shades of silver and gold,
form a curtain,
around my soul,
and my inner child,
radiates like the sun.
In this silent moment,
of peaceful meditation,
my soul opens,
unfolding her petals,
until the lotus within,
shows her stunning beauty.
In a loving embrace,
I accept her,
love her,
and cherish her.
For the first time,
I see myself,
exactly as I am,
and I smile,
with the deepest gratitude.
I am a white lotus,
radiant like the sun,
with her petals,
wide open!  

Ocean Life

Ocean Life

Her heart is like an ocean without life,
a deep black pool of nothing,
who hungers for a coral reef,
for turtles and fish in her sea.
She hungers for surfers and swimmers,
for boats sailing on her surface.
She hungers for birds in the sky,
that hunt for flying fish,
jumping out of her water.
She hungers for someone,
to touch her skin until he sinks in,
deep into the her essence.
She longs for understanding,
the problems that she brings,
because so many ruined her waters,
that she, herself, does not know,
how she really has to swim,
inside her own water reflection.
She longs for someone,
who will take the time,
to dive deep inside of her,
exploring ever corner of,
her deep sea levels and coral reefs,
researching the way to take care of her,
when she can no longer do it herself.
She longs for children,
playing at the shore,
dipping their little feet,
in her shallow waters,
until they learn how to swim,
and they embrace her,
with joy and laughter.
Her heart longs for life,
in that deep black pool of nothing,
that never seems to end.
And until then she dreams,
of a life she has never seen,
that is waiting for her,
beyond the horizon.

The song of my ancestors

A dove coos above my head,
behind the orange and red sun blinds,
where I cannot see him.
I listen to his voice until he leaves,
and wait for the tears to find my eyes.
A love song that flies away on the wind,
takes with her the beauty of the moment.
I look into a black and white photograph,
and see my ancestors neatly lined up,
with my grandfather as a young boy,
covered in his innocence,
standing patiently on the side.
What are the untold stories,
that so many have forgotten to tell us,
about the essence of our lives?
What would they tell me,
if I would ask them about the meaning,
the only way to be happy in this life?
I cannot tell myself this answer,
because he died when I was too young,
to understand the meaning of this question.
To run or to hide is what I am asking now,
as the storm rages all around me,
but I stay until the eye of the tornado,
hides me in the safest place of her womb.
Paralyzed I hang in the air,
like a numb paraglider who forgot his trade,
and whose life is now at the mercy of God.
But as I balance between life and death,
I look at this astonishing sunset,
to realize that this is only beginning.
The songs of my ancestors have left me,
the rhymes of my mother’s heart are fading,
but the word of God still lingers in my soul
where it lights up all the dark places.
I look once more over my shoulder,
to find the dove that reminded me of them,
but she is long gone,
and just like that I lose my balance,
forced to choose between life and death.
I let go and choose to live,
because the stories of these ancestor,
cannot end in this moment.
So, I softly continue this love song,
with the strength of my ancestors,
safely hidden in my heart,
and the love of God all around me.

( The picture posted is personal property! If you want to use it, ask first! Thank You!)

I Surrender

With my wings,
as white as snow,
I fly above the clouds,
and dance mindlessly.
One with the birds,
I stretch my wings,
and dance in the sun.

My feet move on the air,
as I close my eyes.
Joy and peace settle,
like a little bunny,
deep within his burrow.

My arms and wings spread,
on the light of your love.
I fall and I rise,
tumbling through the air.
My laughter fills the earth,
and my joy reaches heaven.

As I rest on the wind,
of your holy breath,
the music of my soul,
fills the blue spring-sky,
and our minds meet,
on the soft piano sounds.

I fly and I dance,
on the wind of your love,
and in your peace,
I surrender.

This photo belongs to me: Gineke van Keulen.

Love is…

Love is a powerful weapon,
that can break the strongest heart,
like explosives blowing up rocks.
Love breaks through barriers,
of high fences and barbed wires.
Love jumps across abysses,
over high walls of thick stones,
until your heart stops crying,
until your anger dies down.
Love brings a smile to your face,
and joy in your broken heart.
Love is a warm embrace,
a hug or a kiss,
but most of all,
Love is a hand reaching out,
when your feet are too weak to stand.
Love is accepting a heart,
that lives and breathes so differently,
than how your own has learned to survive.
Love will never look at the outside,
but rather searches what is inside the heart,
for it is the heart that tells stories,                                                       
that the canvas of your soul,
sometimes cannot portrait.
Love is the depth of the ocean,
the height of the mountain,
and everything in between.
In war and in peace,
in tears or in laughter
in health or in pain,
love is simply everything!

The First Spring

The torn womb bleeds,
the deepest color red,
as broken dreams scatter,
across an endless waterfall,
where my tears,
are salty on my cheek.

The leaves fall down,
onto the damp ground,
where a swamp,
is growing grey and old.
Twigs breaks on the wind,
that is howling,
like a sad and lonely wolf.

Desolate places scream,
for endless rains of mercy,
but deaf ears cannot see,
this crystal clear reality,
that the winter will not end,
until the beginning,
of the first spring.

Fleeting hope breaks,
the fragile heart in two,
but when the soul,
is willing to fall in love,
hope arises like an eagle,
on the wings of a swan,
and burns like a golden torch,
for all eternity.

The Heart Burns

The heart burns with tears,
as the land turns bones into ashes,
and Eden into a lifeless desert.

Souls rise against each other,
in the hand of the same Creator,
until the earth floods a second time.

Like leaves blowing away on the wind,
that is how Divine wisdom fades,
in the heart of selfish desires.

We have to kneel down and pray,
for the heart to awake from her slumber,
for our eyes to see the darkness we live in.

The light can only remain inside of us,
when the heart is willing to love,
a love that crosses every border.

Only when we learn to reach our hand,
beyond our own human knowledge,
we will learn to embrace this world with love.

Love is greatest power this world possesses,
why then do we not use it to shape the world,
into a place where every soul can live in love?

Belonging is sharing your heart and home,
with every living being the earth knows,
in the deepest love and harmony.

As this world is fiercely burning down,
I pray in the deepest depth of my heart,
that love will not die in the heart of mankind!

Healing Heart

After I saw a video on the BBC about the situation in India, I wrote this poem. It is the grief in my own heart that I have felt since my mother passed away, almost three years ago, of cancer, combined with the grief I saw in that video and the grief that I know exists all around the world. Losing someone is so painful, undescribable in words, but please know that rays of hope glimmer at the horizon! xox Gineke

Healing Heart

My heart contracts in pain,
as tear drops trickle down the veins,
forcing primal cries from the depths,
of my shattered soul staring at me,
in the broken mirror reflections on the floor.

My hands lifted you up in love,
carried you around a desolated city,
searching for one heart willing to help,
but the silence has fired back at me,
like a thousand knives stabbing me,
in a defenseless attack I cannot win!

I am holding your picture in my hands,
unable to understand how this happened,
yet fully aware that death can come knocking,
at my own front door at any time,
so I close the door and wonder why,
the future has abandoned us this time?

As the sun comes up in the east,
the first rays of hope move across the land,
like little drops of gold being spread,
and I cannot wait for the sun in the sky,
bringing a rainbow into my hands,
where memory and hope can blend,
in a healing heart that will one day learn,
how to give her love once again.

From the Ashes

From the Ashes

Sometimes it is a miracle,
that the cracked house still stands.
Exfoliated paint has dimmed,
the always lively outer walls.
Crumbled wall joints have given,
the luxury estate a poor appearance.
The door hangs in the frame,
showing the many break ins,
this house has had to endure,
and when entering,
the emptiness proves the robberies,
of this dilapidated mansion.
Antique pink walls hint the past,
of parties with women in fancy dresses,
drinking champagne and cocktails,
whose spirits now haunt,
this desolated, empty place.
Where have they gone, I wonder?

A painting falls down the wall,
one from the baroque period,
that surprisingly still shows,
every detail of the painters work.
I am lost in this castle,
with its empty spaces and walls,
and the many cobwebs,
covering the ceiling –
even the spiders have left.
There is nothing left for me,
and a little bird on the window sill,
tells me it is time to leave.

Against all the voice,
telling me to say goodbye,
there is one asking me to stay,
for even a house in this broken state,
has a chance of coming back to life.

Love is a force,
with unbreakable strength,
that can make a flower bloom,
in the middle of the winter.
When you collect this force,
that is deep within your heart,
miracles will begin to happen,
and even an old dilapidated house,
can arise from its ashes!

Authenticity

Authenticity

My eyelids are weak,
my back is soar,
and the early morning,
forces me to scream.
I want to see the dawn,
with a colorful sunrise,
and tea to start my day.
Instead the day calls me,
with heavy stones,
and whiplashes breaking,
the fragile skin of my body.
My mind has become numb –
I stop the thinking,
as soon as I wake up,
in order to prevent,
the evil thoughts,
from crashing in on me,
leaving scars on a heart,
that is already broken.
I protect myself from a world,
who has abandoned me,
at the first breath of my youth,
for reasons I cannot comprehend.
Even the Heavens have gone silent,
unable to utter another word,
that could possibly encourage me.
The streets and bridges are empty.
Only a handful of birds,
dare to cross the sky,
unbothered by the disarray,
taking place beneath them.
My first breath in the morning,
which feels like the first breath,
of a terrified newborn child,
should be the one of a happy,
innocent child filled with wonder,
and glee of the future,
but cheerfully present in the day.
Instead I wonder about the changes,
and improvisations I could make,
to enhance my chances on a market,
that has put me in the box,
of misfits not pretty enough to sell.
Like the crooked cucumber,
that did not make the final cut,
to the runway of the supermarket.
But no matter how I put it down,
in beautifully crafted words,
to explain my small mistakes,
not one is good enough,
to force me to hide away.
I want to be my authentic self,
in a world of so many that look,
and behave exactly the same,
in a society that does not expect,
anything less than that.
I want to rise above the crowd,
of people so alike,
to show this world the beauty,
of standing out.
The worth in my soul,
wins it every single time,
of the desire to fit in.
So even if I have to live,
this one life I have been given,
in the company of myself,
I shall be happy,
for the only thing worse,
than complete loneliness,
is to be forced to kill,
my beautiful self.