Today I have grown

Today I have grown

The long halls look familiar,
like scenes from an old film,
where the tiles have never lost their color,
and floors still look exactly the same.

Doors open with new changes.
Through the unexpected conversations,
new lessons are born in hope,
where understanding has grown,
and knowledge is easier to control.

Blending in has never suited me,
I always stood out in the massive crowd.
A little grey mouse between a hundred swans,
they always passed me by in a haze,
where wonder asked me where they were going,
and understanding has failed to answer the question.

Today my life has grown,
into a magical bird of paradise,
shining her feathers among the swallows,
singing her song between the nightingales.

Today I have learned to stand tall,
between everything that is different,
embracing the uniqueness of myself,
between the extraordinary beauty,
of millions of others.

Today I have grown

 

 

A Magical World

A magical world

The falling leaves fly on the wind,
creating a magical world all around me,
where I can suddenly sense the unseen.
Like angels flying on the wind,
the yellow leaves find their place,
on the floors of a broken world.

As I sense the first winter snow,
my heart fills up with the scent of Christmas,
where an open fire warms my soul,
and a deer calmly walks through the first snow.
The winter forest is an empty land,
where the ending waits for a new beginning,
as children fill the air with their laughter.

My mind is lost in this magical world,
and quickly wanders off to unknown places,
in search of undiscovered bulbs of wisdom.
As I mindlessly dance through this magic land,
I find my laughter in the highest tree,
where a red kite is stuck in the bare branches,
and a million red robins are there to release it.

Where peace dwells on the lowest grounds,
love flies up in the highest skies creating rainbows,
where blue tits pick snowflakes with their beaks,
bringing them like small gifts to the ground,
where children receive them with the greatest joy.
In this magical world where everything is possible,
the greatest possibilities are brought,
to the smallest places on earth.

A magical world

The importance of love!

The importance of love!

Fighting without victory,
drains all the energy,
emptying the heart from love.

In all the mirrors I see myself,
but the truth is uncatchable,
in the reflection of yourself.

Only through God’s eyes,
the truth shines like a beacon in the night,
illuminating the darkness around us,
so the shadows flee in our sight.

In one single second the world changes,
one choice can make the heart break.

Therefore the importance of love,
is more worth than silver or gold,
for only through love,
the toughest battles,
can become your greatest victory.

Love is the only thing that can heal the most broken situation!

 

Perfection

Perfection

The ideal version of yourself is perfection.
The ideal version of everything else is judgment.
For perfection is always centered around the self.

Every soul knows perfection-
whether it is true or false,
reality or an imagination.
To look for perfection,
you will first have to choose the glasses,
that you decide to look through.
The Father’s glasses or your own.
Through the Father’s glasses you see love.
Through your own glasses you see disdain,
because the Father’s love is real and pure,
and no one loves like the Father.
To see yourself through the eyes of the Father,
is seeing yourself the way you really are.

Perfection is not reached,
without experiencing your flaws first.
Overcoming your shortcomings,
means reaching perfection in the long run.

Perfection is an endless road,
with many hills and mountains.
Walk the hills no matter how high.
Climb the mountains no matter how steep.
Keep your eyes on the road ahead,
your mind on your destination,
and learn from the past.
Then strength will flow through your body,
like the blood streams through your veins,
provided to you by your Holy Father.

Trust is a continued journey.
Hope is the fuel you walk on.
Faith is the power to your soul,
while God’s love provides in all you need.

Perfection is a long road,
possible – not impossible.

Perfection

 

Footsteps of eternity

Footsteps of eternity

Lifeless you lay,
at the bottom of the ocean,
unable to swim,
you suffocate in your own weeping.
All I want to do,
is to rock you like a baby,
in My mighty arms,
comforting you in your grieve.

Lullabies are no answers,
to questions deep within,
but distractions,
that keep you from living.

All I want for you is to live,
a life beyond your dreams.
All I want for you is to love,
a love that is true and genuine.
Remember My child,
that there is no greater love,
that He who gave it up for His friends!

The sand in the hourglass,
has almost past the hours of waiting.
The mirror only shows you dimly now,
but soon you will see the full picture.
Soon the past will be a dissolved mirage,
holding the future in your sight,
and the present in your heart.

The things you are longing for now,
they will dissolve like misty air,
on a bright summer day.
You and I will be one,
unable to ever part again,
and the rest of the journey,
we will walk hand in hand.

My child,
I know how much you miss me,
how much your heart aches for me.
But remember that I am always with you,
Your heart is my home,
where I will always reside in.

Keep fighting for Me,
keep walking towards My light,
knowing the victory is ours.
Don’t walk in the footsteps of the world,
but rather choose the footsteps of eternity,
where I will be waiting,
on the steps of your dreams.

Wipe your tears away My love,
and smile like the rising of the sun,
that illuminates everything.
I hold you in the palm of My hands,
not even allowing your foot to stumble.
I have counted all the hairs on your head,
I have created you in My deepest love.

The sense of your existence lays in Me,
for I wanted you,
longed for you,
created you,
loved you with an everlasting love,
and I will keep loving you,
until the end of time.

I am with you,
I am for you,
and I am around,
all the days of your life,
until eternity!

Footsteps of eternity

 

The fight of self-love

The fight of self-love

Challenging love,
I lose sight of who I am,
and a battle is never won,
without knowledge.

Fighting against myself,
I lose sight of who You are,
and I lose a battle,
that I never even started.

Fighting against You,
I lose sight of everything,
for everything is within You,
and You  are within everything.

When the battle ends,
all I have left is love,
for it is within love,
where I find myself.

The Giant Tree

The Giant Tree

The bare trees die,
to gain back life in the spring.
Bald in their battle to survive,
they take on a glorious splendor,
when the fruit touch the branches,
and blossoms paint the landscape,
in bright vibrant colors.

Deep in the ground,
roots are the essence of life.
an armor against the storm.
Further and deeper they dig,
until strength is not a question,
but the answer to life.

The Giant Tree,
in the middle of the garden,
the only survivor among its kind,
feeds and shelters wildlife.
Where Life gives life-
sharing His blossom-love,
the wisdom of His roots-
fruit will grow.

The small fragile roots,
intertwine in The Giant Tree’s,
growing in His shadow,
learning His wisdom.
There I grow into a tree,
to spread the blossom-love,
that He laid upon my branches.

Blossom-love spreads,
on a spring-day,
when the sun turns,
and the shadows,
are no longer a sanctuary,
but a revelation of light,
to bear fruit for the garden,
of The Giant Tree.
the giant tree

For if  we have been united together in the likeness of His death,
certainly we also shall be in the likeness of His resurrection!
Romans 6:5
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lavender dreams

Lavender dreams

Soft silky hues,
transmit my soul into a dream world,
of sweet lavender aromas,
and honey tasting kisses.
I live inside Your soul,
where cinnamon fragrances,
make me feel home.

I taste the vanilla on my lips,
and I breathe in the air of soft roses.
Arms like strong walls form a fortress –
safe is Your heart that protects me.
I live inside Your soul,
where Your warm embrace,
is a token of Your undying love.

Sweet is this lavender dream,
under the willow tree,
where words born in Your pure heart,
stream from Your sweet lips,
penetrating my soul with love.
You sweep me into Your soul,
where I dream a million more dreams,
in this beautiful eternal world.

Lavenderdreams

 

 

Miracles in midst of grieve

How do I speak, when the words get stuck in my heart? It has been 11 months since my mother passed away. I have told you about how much pain it has caused me, but I have remained silent about the miracles God did for me surrounding my mother’s death.

I don’t know where to start really. The pain is still intense. I have moments where I feel as if I can handle it, but I also have moments where I silently wish her to come back. I miss my best friend, I miss our conversations, I miss her love and her hugs, I literally miss everything about her!

But that is not the reason why I wanted to write this blog. When my mother passed away some amazing things happened. I rarely talk about it but at some point, I have too and there is no better time than the present.

Before my mother passed away, or even became sick, death was a very scary thing for me. When I was a teenager, I had some traumatic experiences during my grandparents’ deaths. I was always somewhat forced to watch them in their coffin, even when I didn’t want to. It caused me to get nightmares and ever since I haven’t been able to see someone who is diseased. When I was still working in retirement homes, years ago, I had to, but it always came with a huge amount of fear. So, when my mother heard she got cancer and not more than 4 months to live, I already started to panic. I live with my parents and my mother really wanted to stay at home until the funeral. For months I told everyone that I didn’t want to see her after she passed. I didn’t even want to be around the coffin, I was so scared. The miracle happened, the moment my mother passed away. God took all my fear away from me in the blink of an eye. Without thinking I walked over to her, touched her head and said goodbye. My brother and my dad were stunned. The girl who was so scared, did the unthinkable. God gave me the strength to say goodbye to my mom, before and, after she passed away. It was the first miracle.

But the miracles kept coming. Not only did I touch her after she passed. I also was able to see her in her coffin and to be at home until the funeral. All the fear I had built up throughout my life was gone. I was no longer afraid of death. God healed the trauma from my youth exactly at the right moment. But that’s not all.

I had prayed to God before my mother’s funeral, if God wanted to help me not to cry. I know it sounds a bit weird maybe, but I wanted to experience every part of the funeral. I didn’t want a single moment to be a blur. I wanted to know who came, what songs we sang, the words that were said, everything. On the day of the funeral I only cried twice. When mom was carried out of the house and when her body was in the ground and we said our last goodbye. In between I didn’t shed one single tear. God had answered my prayer. He had allowed me to experience everything and it was beautiful. Exactly the way my mother would have wanted it to be. At some point my sister-in-law asked me why I didn’t have to cry, since everybody else was, but I simply couldn’t. God had taken all my tears for that day as an answer to my prayer. But that’s not all. There is one more miracle.

After my mother’s funeral, for two months, I kept getting a vision. Every time I felt like breaking down, God gave me one vision. It was always the same one. I saw a house. The house was made of a white, glass like material I have never seen here on earth. It was a big farm-villa-mansion type house. The material looked exactly like the building in the painting ‘Supreme Sanctuary’ by Akiane Kramarik. But this house looked different. The setting was also very different. The house was at the edge of a forest. A small white fence was around the plot. It had green grass and against the house were rose bushes with roses that were bigger than I had ever seen. The roses where red, my mother’s favorite color! Every time I saw this vision, I heard Jesus say, “Do you remember that prayer you prayed when your mother was sick? The one in which you asked me to give her a special place in heaven because she was such a good mother to you? Well, this is it. This is where she is now. She is with me and she is safe. I will take good care of her”. The vision and the words gave me so much comfort that my tears instantly disappeared. It took the edge of my pain. I will Always be thankful to Jesus for the way He helped me in my deepest grieve. He really went out of His way to help me and to comfort me.

Jesus performed miracles when I needed Him most. He didn’t heal my mother like I wanted to and yes that made me angry. But He did help me through the pain. This is the reason why I wanted to share this story of mine. I want you to know that even though Jesus may not answer your prayer, He will help you through the pain. Jesus doesn’t leave you nor forsake you. Jesus is there in your deepest darkest hours, holding you in His arms, wiping your tears away. Jesus loves you, even when He cannot answer your prayer the way that you want Him to. You’re are safe in His presence and He loves you more than you could ever possibly know. Always remember that!

The View

The View

 Lost is the sheep who wanders off.
Close to the shepherd it finds safety.
His voice carries a familiar tone,
recognizable is the sound of love.
A gentle heart calls the wicked,
and willingly they change their course.

The heart longs for his sheep,
like a dry mouth longs for water,
without them he cannot survive.
His alacrity to keep them safe is immense,
the sacrifice his own free choice.

I am an observer in an open field,
and my curiosity exceeds my concerns.
Distance allows an open-minded view,
when discomfort rules a broken heart.
On which side do I belong, I wonder?

The ability to make a selfless choice,
forces the heart to lose sight of itself.
The willingness to embrace your identity,
forces the heart to let go of its thoughts.
To be is a joy to the longing soul,
a gratitude to its Maker.

 Understanding nurtures knowledge,
wisdom is a blossom to the heart.
In an open field I am the observer,
watching this ever-gentle display.
The icicles melt in the sunshine,
in the view of the cherry blossoms.

The View

 “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.”
John 10: 27-28