The View

The View

 Lost is the sheep who wanders off.
Close to the shepherd it finds safety.
His voice carries a familiar tone,
recognizable is the sound of love.
A gentle heart calls the wicked,
and willingly they change their course.

The heart longs for his sheep,
like a dry mouth longs for water,
without them he cannot survive.
His alacrity to keep them safe is immense,
the sacrifice his own free choice.

I am an observer in an open field,
and my curiosity exceeds my concerns.
Distance allows an open-minded view,
when discomfort rules a broken heart.
On which side do I belong, I wonder?

The ability to make a selfless choice,
forces the heart to lose sight of itself.
The willingness to embrace your identity,
forces the heart to let go of its thoughts.
To be is a joy to the longing soul,
a gratitude to its Maker.

 Understanding nurtures knowledge,
wisdom is a blossom to the heart.
In an open field I am the observer,
watching this ever-gentle display.
The icicles melt in the sunshine,
in the view of the cherry blossoms.

The View

 “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me. And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.”
John 10: 27-28

 

 

 

 

 

There is no partiality with God!

Last night I was reading Romans 2. When I got to the eleventh verse, I felt so touched

‘For there is no partiality with God’.

You may know by now that my life was far from easy. I have never really spoken about what happened because I don’t want to hurt the people that hurt me. This may sound weird, but it is something that God taught me. One day, a couple of years ago, I wanted to write my story down for all the wrong reasons. I wanted others to feel a grain of the pain I felt all those years. But God said to me, “Gineke, there are those that hurt you because they really wanted to but there are also those that hurt you because they got hurt first. They hurt you out of their own brokenness. If you tell your story, you will hurt them all over again. Don’t take revenge”! That day I decided that my story would not be told. Or at least the names of the people who hurt me, nor how they are related to me (whether family, friends or aqcuaintances), would ever be told. But I will say this. I was yelled at, laughed at, excluded, rejected, ridiculed and hurt. The worst thing that was ever said to me was that I was worthless.

Because of my past I have several issues among which a generalized anxiety disorder and a negative self-image. It is something I have been battling for years. Especially when nothing in life seems to go to plan, I mentally punish myself even when it is not my fault. I am literally my own worst critic. When I have these depressive moods, it shows especially in my prayers. I ask God what is wrong with me and on rare days, I even ask God why He still loves me because He is better off without me. In my own view God could better replace for somebody else because everybody is better than me. This sounds worrisome but the past has left some ugly scars that hurt from time to time. I have had numerous therapists, including EMDR, but nothing worked so far. I have prayed countless prayers for myself but none of them were answered.

So, when I read that verse last night, it felt like lightning on a blue sunny day. Too many people have rejected me and because of that I Always feel as if everybody else is Always better than me. I am never good enough. But don’t we all feel this way? Don’t we all feel either better or worse than somebody else? Whether it is in religion of our jobs, our family our character, we feel better or worse than others. But God does not!!!

God looks at us without judgement. He loves us all equally, regardless of who we are, what we have done or what we look like. Like God told Samuel in 1 Samuel 16:7,

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Samuel was at the house of Jesse to anoint the new King. When Jesse sons were presented, Samuel judged them the way he saw them. One look strong, the other intelligent and another handsome. But God reminded Samuel that the heart is more important that the outward appearance. God had chosen David. A young shepherd boy. The one who looked least like a future King.

For us it works the same way. We look at other the way we see them. We put them on a pedestal and praise them for their beauty, outstanding work, amount of charity, their ministry, their prayer life etc. But God reminds us that this is all just outward appearance. None of us is better than the other. People may look almost perfect, but they have issues that we know nothing about. They are not better than us, but they are just like us.  Isn’t that beautiful? Instead of punishing ourselves for not being good enough we may remind ourselves that God loves us so much and with God there is no partiality. In God’s eyes we are beautiful, unique, created by Him and dearly loved by Him.

So, the next time when I feel down. The next time when my past reminds me that I am never good enough. I only must remind myself that with God there is no partiality. God loves me and that’s the truth.

God loves you and accepts you the way you are, even when you find it hard to accept yourself. Do you believe that?

If you need prayer, maybe because you have a negative self-image as well or because you feel hurt, let me know. You can do this via a contact form (this way I get an email and it is all private) or you may write it below this message. You are not alone! You are loved by Jesus!

Romans 2 11

Jesus’ Final Prayer

Jesus’ Final Prayer

Landslides tear my heart in two.
Silently I wait for the tsunami,
to flood my burning heart,
until peace has redeemed it from its pain.

My voice is numbed by the many prayers,
spoken with perseverance and repetition.
But I feel as if Your deaf ears have denied,
my heartfelt request that is always present.

Tears are an undeniable consequence,
to a rejected heart, silenced by fear.
When prayers are left unanswered,
the desert will slowly kill me in my grief.

Where are You, oh Mighty Creator?
Why have You forsaken me?
This cup, too full to drink,
is shaking at my quivering lips.

Now that I have spoken my final prayer,
my final breath escapes my painful lungs,
and in the silent darkness I am fully aware,
I have overcome the greatest test.

Jesus knows how you feel inside. He has been where you are now! In the garden of Gethsemane Jesus prayed to His Father, “Oh My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will”. (Matthew 26:39) Jesus was so afraid of what was coming His way, the suffering and crucifixion, that He sweated drops of blood. An angel had to come to give Him strength, but God didn’t answer His prayer. In fact, God remained silent. Jesus had to suffer for our sins despite His deep fear.

Then on the cross, Jesus prayed His final prayer to His Father by saying, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani”? Which is translated, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me”? (Mark 15:34). Jesus felt abandoned, just like me and you. We all feel abandoned by God at times, especially when we desperately need Him to act. When our loved ones are dying, when we suffer from health issues or when we are plagued by financial struggles. When we pray, we want God to answer and when He doesn’t, we feel alone, abandoned, afraid and angry. These are all human feelings that Jesus felt too. He knows how you feel, so when you go through a season of hardship and you are left with so many questions. When you are crying out to God for help but the answered hasn’t come yet, remember that Jesus knows how you feel because He felt the same.

Jesus loves you so much. He holds you in His arms and tells you, “I know how you feel, just lean on me, I will help you because I love you more than you can ever comprehend”.

Build your identity with Jesus

Your identity is like a house. A house that is being built over many years. It works like this;

Your identity is who you are. The foundation, the root or essence of who you are, is a child of God. You are first and foremost a child of God. That is your foundation. Everything else are bricks. With everything else I mean; you are a wife/husband, mother/father, sister/brother, aunt/uncle, niece/nephew, friend, member of a church, teacher, athlete, lawyer, painter, music lover, nature lover, reader, volunteer and so on. Everything that you believe you are. All of those things are bricks.

Jesus is the one who hands you these bricks. Everything that you have and that you are is given to you by Jesus. It is up to you to accept it! It all depends on how much you trust Jesus. He has your best interest at heart but do you believe that?  Do you believe that Jesus wants to make you strong, beautiful, happy and loved? When you do, your house – your identity –  will be rock-solid!

Your whole life is used to build this house, this identity. Every day of your life, you keep collecting, accepting and denying new bricks. Sometimes a piece of wall will fall apart because you denied a brick you really needed and you have to start all over again. But if you trust Jesus, if you accept what He gives you, He will help you to build a good and steady house!

Your house is finished when you die. Until you die, you keep adding bricks, a pieces, to your identity. The moment you die however, Jesus puts the final touches to your house. He makes it even more beautiful than it already is and more beautiful than you could ever imagine! So when you enter the gates of Heaven, your brand-new house is waiting for you, where you will live in for all eternity.

What you do today matters! Who you decide to be today matters! Trust Jesus in everything for He never makes mistakes. He knows you, loves you and has your best interest at heart! His love will make you brand-new!

Build your identity with Jesus

“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock”. (Matthew 7: 24-25)

The brightest light

The Brightest Light

The batteries of my flashlight are empty,
and the wood is too wet to make a fire.
The dry ground became muddy from the rain.
The slippery roads don’t hold my feet.
As the darkness is closing in, I shout,
“Can you hear me?
Can you help me?
Please, safe me”!
With a panic-stricken heart, I try to focus.
“Don’t panic”, I say, “God-child don’t lose your calmth”.
As I bring back the beatings of my heart to a normal pace,
I use my knowledge as my most powerful weapon.
And in the dark silent mud I whisper, “Love”.

The more I whisper the one word I know,
darkness retreats,
driven away by a beam of light.
Following the light to find its source,
the light has made a home in my heart,
where my deeds create the greatest beams,
and my thoughts drive away any kind of evil.

The Voice of Love and Light speaks to me,
“My child, in order to find the light in the darkness,
you only need to look inside your heart,
where I am.
Always present, giving strength, sharing wisdom.
Knowledge is your torch in the darkness,
your heart is the calmth in the rushing storm,
but love is your most powerful weapon,
for love is the brightest light that I can give you”.

The brightest light

 “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you”.
(John 15:12, the Holy Bible)

Humility is the fruit of love

Yesterday Jesus gave me these words/this poem. He asked me to share it with you today. Enjoy!

Humility is the fruit of Love

In endless spheres,
I am the Highest.
In a universe with many worlds,
only I am Truth.

My love covered the oceans,
My heart filled the entire earth.
Everything that lives,
I have created.
Everything that breathes,
is filled from My own lungs.

To put yourself above another,
is towering over My creation,
that you will never own.

Who has given life but Me?
Who has taken life but Me?
The only one who possesses life,
is the Only One who has conquered it.
So who is greater than life but Me?

You have thought,
that you could own the earth,
and now you try,
to take over the entire universe –
unsuccessful are your plans without love!

Unnoticed are the real problems in this world.
The hungry die of starvation,
the lonely die a lonely death,
but you have never noticed them,
you have never changed your plans.

Selfishness cannot heal a wounded soul,
nor feed the hungry in their need.
Selfishness establishes nothing,
whereas love can move every mountain.

Do not place yourself above Me!
Do not think yourself higher,
than anybody else.
Humility is the fruit of the Spirit.
Humility is the fruit of Love.

Humility is the fruit of love

Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:1-4 

Into the ashes

Into the ashes

The dust softly lands,
on the lonely desert floor,
leaving the desolate state,
of dry wasteland,
exposed.

Formed in my mother’s womb,
my footprints are alone,
and I scream,
until the emptiness,
swallows my tears.

My hands collect the dust,
until it colors my hair grey.
Kneeled into the ashes,
my torn up clothes wait,
for a sigh of relief.

In the tears,
I see my own reflection.
In the pain,
I see my old age.
In my heart,
the desert overwhelms me.

Now these words remain,
from the dust I was taken,
to the dust I will return,
but without you,
I have turned into ashes,
today.

Into the ashes

“By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”
(Genesis 3:19, Holy Bible)

 

 

 

 

A Joined Combat

A Joined Combat

In a constant battle,
I fight only a temporary war,
for with You  beside me,
the burden is split in two,
lifting the heavy yoke,
from underneath,
my trembling shoulders.

Your unwavering gaze,
attaches my heart to Yours,
and in Your loving sight,
I am never left unattended.
The love that connects us,
is our only way to overcome,
this endless battle of obstructions.

The requested trust,
I lay it in Your open hands,
buried in the strength of Your heart,
Your love carries us to completion,
where eternity begins today,
and the victory,
will set me in Your glory.

“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11: 28-30)

Life is often like a battle. A war where some things work out and others go horribly wrong. In whatever situation you are at the moment. No matter how hopeless your situation may seem. Remember that you do not fight this battle alone. The yoke you are carrying alone is lifted and Jesus shoulders are finding its way next to yours. He is carrying your burden with you. You are never out of His sight. He is holding you tight and together with Him, you will overcome your battle. God is with you….Always!

A Joined Combat

Under the chuppah

For two nights in a row, I received a vision. The vision showed me a wedding. I was looking through the eyes of the bride. Her face covered with a veil, my sight was through that veil. White chairs on each side, with an aisle in the middle. The wedding took place on a grassland surrounded with trees, as if it was a secluded garden. At the end of the aisle I saw a man in a nice black suit but I couldn’t see his face. I knew he was the groom, because nobody was sitting on the seats and besides us, there was nobody there. The groom was standing underneath a beautiful white chuppah, dressed with white roses. Those same white roses where in a bouquet that I was holding in my hands. The wedding was about to start. And as soon as the image came, it left me.

Today I turned this vision into a poem. Before I started many bible verses came to mind that allowed me to understand the vision better. The bible verse that described the vision best is Isaiah 62:5, which says,

“As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you”.

After this, I looked into the chuppah. In my vision I saw it clearly and I was curious if there was a special meaning to it. During my research I discovered that the chuppah symbolizes so many different things. It was so interesting to read. What stood out to me was the following. The groom enter’s the chuppah first, which symbolises his ownership over the home (the chuppah also symbolises a home) on behalf of the couple. When the bride enters the chuppah, it is as though the groom is proving her with shelter or clothing. With this he publicly demonstrates his new responsibilities towards her.

The reason this stood out to me is because it symbolises our relationship with God so beautifully. When we give our lives/hearts to God, we marry Him in a way. It is as if God is waiting for us under the chuppah and as we (the bride) enter the chuppah, God publicly demonstrates to all living things that He is now responsible for us. It deepens our bond with Him. It connects us to Him on so many different levels. God loves us so much.

I hope this makes any sense to you but if it doesn’t, take the poem as you read it. Let it find a way into your heart and find your own meaning in the words. Because that is the beauty about poetry, it can be read in so many different ways. This is mine and I am so curious….what is yours?

Enjoy the poem (in the picture)

Under the chuppah