I look at you,
and wonder
who you are.
What drives you,
motivates you,
and makes you
who you are?
I see your eyes,
filled with stories,
yet untold.
I read about,
you feelings,
stored in places,
where they cannot,
be found.
I see you,
the good,
the bad,
and the beautiful –
I see your soul,
unafraid,
and bold,
and yet,
so unexplainably,
fragile.
I sang
in the quiet hours
of the morning
thinking
nobody could hear me
but you heard me
long before
I sang one word
I did not think
about you listening
I only allowed
the melody of
my joyful heart
to come out
but you heard
every single word
every note
and every melody
and embraced it
with your heart
and right now
at this moment
I feel so grateful
for that!
This morning as I was continuing my bible study journey through the second book of Chronicles, I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to look into the word ‘Repentance’. It is an interesting word. One I always felt was quite clear. In my understanding, repentance was simply apologizing to God for something you did. But my research showed me that repentance is more than this.
First, let’s look at the meaning of the word in the dictionary. My Longman Dictionary told me this about repentance, “To repent means to be sorry for something and wish you had not done it – used especially when considering your actions in a religious way.”(end quote) Apparently, repentance goes beyond being sorry for something. Repentance is also wishing you had not done it in the first place. So in order for my apology to God to become repentance, I have to wish in my heart that I had never done it to begin with.
Then, I looked at the bible. And the bible goes further. The bible connects bearing good fruit with repentance. In Matthew 3:8, John the Baptist says, “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.”(end quote) John explains that repentance is vital for your faith, and without repentance one cannot bear good fruit. I think, I can safely say that repentance is at the heart of faith in Jesus. One cannot face Christ without feeling the need to confess ones sins and change their ways in order to live right for Him.
What I understand is this, repentance goes further than a simple apology. It asks me to change my behavior and actions. A few years ago Jesus gave me the following words that I am reminded of today, He said, “And apology is merely a collection of words, only a change of heart can redeem the soul.” (end quote) I never forgot those words, because they became a lifeline for me. Whenever I wanted to apologize to God or to others, I was always reminded of this. For my guilt, and apology to be genuine, I have to change my behavior, my life choices, and my actions.
Repentance is vital in the life of a Christian. When we give our life to Christ for the first time, it starts with repentance and the forgiveness of our sins. And during the rest of our days on earth, we keep repenting, and bringing our hearts back to God. Because that is the thing about this life, we live in a broken world, and we, or should I say, I, need to repent every single day, because I will never truly get it right, on this side of heaven. It is exactly why Jesus dies on the cross, because He knew how much humanity falls short of the glory of God.
If you do not believe in Jesus, what can you learn of this? Well, the next time you need to apologize to someone over something you did, ask yourself this question, ‘How sorry am I? Sorry enough to change? To never do it again?’ Because how much is your apology worth, if you will do it again? When you apologize, take it as a learning opportunity. Learn to grow in maturity, and change. The change of your behavior give power to your words.
Jesus died for us, but in order to produce good fruit, and be right with God, we still need to repent. We need to do it now because Jesus said, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (end quote, Matthew 4:19) Jesus is coming back, and before He comes, we need to confess, and change for Him. Are you with me?
Allow silence,
to enter your mind.
Capture your thoughts,
and make them,
obedient to Christ.
Grab the hand,
of the Shepherd,
and allow His staff,
to guide your path.
You are a sheep,
lost without guidance.
Wandering around,
you tried to find,
your own way,
but you got lost.
Come back to me,
to the Shepherd,
who dearly loves you,
and let Him guide you,
all the way!
Dancing a waltz
under a starlit sky
and the sparkling lights
remind me of the time
when we were in Vienna
walking ancient streets
listening to the silent sound
of Mozart and Beethoven
Butterflies fluttering
and spring flowers
opening their petals wide
The laughter still echoes
in my memory
and when I close my eyes
I can go back in time
and walk those streets
with you by my side!
Lying on my back,
on a red and white checkered plaid,
looking up at the sky,
where bubbles in white and blue,
silently float by.
My mind is calming down.
I remember the times,
when life was faster and darker,
and I find intense joy,
in the slow pace of life,
where I am right now!
I have learned to embrace,
the here and now,
silently finding my way,
in what I already have,
forgetting all that I want,
and maybe even need.
In this quiet surrender,
I am finding peace,
and I will not forget to thank,
the One who gave me this!
You are teaching me to dance,
in a yellow summer dress,
and sing love songs,
on made up melodies.
In Your heart,
all the peace I could ever know,
was born,
and I am beyond grateful,
for Your willingness to teach me,
love me and adopt me,
and bring me Home,
into Your Father arms,
where peacefulness is the best gift,
I could have ever dreamed off!
Take the lemons,
out of your eyes.
Let the tears fall,
surrender your heart,
and learn to smile,
through the pain,
through the grief,
and through the fear.
Eat the lemons,
make lemonade,
lemon pie,
or lemon meringue.
Learn to dance,
on a rainy day,
with your sunglasses,
on your face.
Sing songs,
from the heart,
breathing air,
into your lungs,
knowing that lemons,
are simply a beginning,
and not the end.
It is time,
to eat the lemons,
straight from your hands!
Confidence,
is standing firmly,
in your own identity.
Your head held high,
your vision clear,
and your ears shut,
to every opinion,
that does not match,
what you know,
about yourself.
Holding on,
to your own truths,
is the only way,
to stand strong,
in whom you are,
and more importantly,
in Whose you are,
because,
believe it or not,
there is One,
who knows,
exactly who you are,
and who is proud,
of whom you are,
and what you are becoming.
Confidence,
is holding God’s hand,
no matter what resistance,
you may get!
I remember a time
when I turned the tape of a cassette
back with the end of my pencil
because somehow it got stuck
in the wheel of my recorder.
I remember listening to the radio
for hours on end,
waiting for that one song,
that would make me press,
the button to record,
so, I could listen to it over and again.
I would sit in my bedroom,
listening to my favorite songs,
singing and dancing,
until my brother,
would bounce on my door,
asking me for silence.
The neighbors would complain,
about my off-key voice,
or the music being too loud,
but I never listened,
and disappeared in my own world.
This time without phones,
social media, or internet,
was a simple world,
where I could forget everything,
and sometimes I want to go back,
and relive that time all over again.
I wonder,
what is holding me back?
I see you,
with a piece of chocolate,
between your teeth,
and a cup of coffee,
in your hand –
Confidence
is knowing who you are.
It is knowing,
whose you are.
The freedom of being,
without worrying,
what other people think.
You are getting there.
And my love,
it is the most beautiful thing!
Gineke van Keulen 