How can I describe, the look in Your eyes, full of a wisdom, I do not understand.
The unpredictable life, springing from a fountain, of what seems like, an eternal youth, can only be seen, through Your eyes.
I read the words, You have written down, and try to wrap my mind, ever so carefully around it, but it feels so pointless, because I do not possess, the divine wisdom, that You have.
So, all I can do is trust You, and take Your hand, because You are the only one, who know the best steps, to get me into the promised land.
This poem and all the other poetry and content on this page belong to Gineke van Keulen! Do not use without permission! Thank you!
This morning as I was continuing my bible study journey through the second book of Chronicles, I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to look into the word ‘Repentance’. It is an interesting word. One I always felt was quite clear. In my understanding, repentance was simply apologizing to God for something you did. But my research showed me that repentance is more than this.
First, let’s look at the meaning of the word in the dictionary. My Longman Dictionary told me this about repentance, “To repent means to be sorry for something and wish you had not done it – used especially when considering your actions in a religious way.”(end quote) Apparently, repentance goes beyond being sorry for something. Repentance is also wishing you had not done it in the first place. So in order for my apology to God to become repentance, I have to wish in my heart that I had never done it to begin with.
Then, I looked at the bible. And the bible goes further. The bible connects bearing good fruit with repentance. In Matthew 3:8, John the Baptist says, “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.”(end quote) John explains that repentance is vital for your faith, and without repentance one cannot bear good fruit. I think, I can safely say that repentance is at the heart of faith in Jesus. One cannot face Christ without feeling the need to confess ones sins and change their ways in order to live right for Him.
What I understand is this, repentance goes further than a simple apology. It asks me to change my behavior and actions. A few years ago Jesus gave me the following words that I am reminded of today, He said, “And apology is merely a collection of words, only a change of heart can redeem the soul.” (end quote) I never forgot those words, because they became a lifeline for me. Whenever I wanted to apologize to God or to others, I was always reminded of this. For my guilt, and apology to be genuine, I have to change my behavior, my life choices, and my actions.
Repentance is vital in the life of a Christian. When we give our life to Christ for the first time, it starts with repentance and the forgiveness of our sins. And during the rest of our days on earth, we keep repenting, and bringing our hearts back to God. Because that is the thing about this life, we live in a broken world, and we, or should I say, I, need to repent every single day, because I will never truly get it right, on this side of heaven. It is exactly why Jesus dies on the cross, because He knew how much humanity falls short of the glory of God.
If you do not believe in Jesus, what can you learn of this? Well, the next time you need to apologize to someone over something you did, ask yourself this question, ‘How sorry am I? Sorry enough to change? To never do it again?’ Because how much is your apology worth, if you will do it again? When you apologize, take it as a learning opportunity. Learn to grow in maturity, and change. The change of your behavior give power to your words.
Jesus died for us, but in order to produce good fruit, and be right with God, we still need to repent. We need to do it now because Jesus said, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (end quote, Matthew 4:19) Jesus is coming back, and before He comes, we need to confess, and change for Him. Are you with me?
This bible study and all the other content on this page belong to Gineke van Keulen! Do not use without permission! Thank you!
It is the shortest sentence in the entire bible. Jesus wept. He wept over Marta. Over Mary. Over His friend Lazarus, who just died. And He cried over the pain of the people surrounding Him. He cried. He feels their pain!
This morning, I was studying this bible verse when the Lord asked me a question. It caused an earthquake in my soul. Jesus asked me, “How often have you read this and not cared?” Ouch, that one hurt. It did not hurt because I felt a reprimand from Him, but it hurt because I knew, He was right! And I started to write down all my thoughts in my journal. Thoughts I want to share with you now.
I have read this too many times and did not care, to be honest. Because my own grief was too big to notice it. Because I was surviving pain and anxiety every day of my life. Because I was still dragging the past along with me on my shoulders. Today however, I did notice it! Today was the first day when I noticed how wrong I was about my Lord and Savior!
You know, I always thought Jesus did not really care about me, my feelings, or my problems. There was simply too much of it. And in my own self-pity, as I was drowning in a pool of darkness, I did not notice the hand that was stretched out to me. I did not notice the tears that were shed on my behalf. Jesus ‘hand. Jesus tears. But I see it now! I see it so clearly. And it may have taken me a while, but I have grabbed His hand, and I have let Him pull me out of my darkness.
Jesus cares! He cares so much more than we could ever imagine. He is not a distant God that watches us from a throne on high, shaking His head over our inadequacy! No! He cares so much about us that He cries! He cries over our pain, our grief, and our anxiety. And today He is still reaching out to us! Desperate for us to know Him, come to Him, and be saved!
Give Him a chance! Jesus cannot help if we do not allow Him to. He reaches His hand out to you, and to me, but it is up to us to grab it! So, I am writing this today to urge you to grab His hand. Let Him save you! Let Him fill your heart and soul with His abounding love and peace! I can safely say, you will not regret it!
An autumn rain of yellow leaves, celebrates the season in my soul, and waits for winter to come. I look up at the clouds in the sky, where one lost butterfly passes by. I reach out my hand to Heaven, trying to grasp the hand of God, as in the painting of Michelangelo, but in my case with clothes on. Words can come in many ways, like arrows that pierce your soul, or an uplifting consolation, that makes you happy, but the words of God are both. Two in one, they pierce my soul, and fill my heart with indescribable joy. I wish, I could explain what it is like, to hold the hand of God, but it is an experience to be discovered. It is an adventure to be lived, that can only be felt, by the one brave enough to face Him. My heart pierces with love, and my gratitude rises up like smoke, from a burnt offering I made, in the heart of the Lord’s Temple. The feeling of my bare feet walking, on the golden, glass floor of Heaven,leading me to God’s throne, is an indescribable joy, that still fills my heart and makes it whole. I wish, I could tell you what it’s like, but you have to discover it for yourself, and I challenge you to give it a go. Allow God to walk into your life, so, you can walk into Heaven, with a pure heart and a clear mind, to learn about the love, only God can show.
All poetry and images on this page belong to Gineke van Keulen. Please, ask before using! Thank you!
It is a peaceful Sunday afternoon. Or at least, it should be peaceful! My mind is racing, my heart is pounding, and I cannot breathe.
I know what is happening. I need to run! I need to flee! I need to get out of here! I can tell that my dad is worried, but I do not want to bother him with my feelings. It will only make him worried. My dad does not say anything. He is good at that sort of thing. He just listens and somehow picks up sentences between the lines, I never even said. And yet, this time, he puts a little pressure on me. Enough to make me tell him in an outburst of desperation that I am not ok. I feel alone, afraid, and I have been feeling as if something bad is going to happen for weeks now. I do not know why. I do not know how. And yes, I am probably imagining things, but I do not know what to do anymore. It feels as if my life is at stake, and there is nothing I can do to make things better.
My bike is in the shed. I grab it and start my way to the park. The wind is in my face, and my feeling of not being able to breath intensifies. I feel my chest tighten. My legs are burning, most likely from the fybromyalgia but at the moment I cannot be certain. I am in blind panic. I want to scream. To the Heavens and to myself, but who will listen? I have already said so many prayers, but I am still in the same state of fear that I was in years ago. Life feels hopeless. I keep cycling and when I arrive at the park, I quickly drop my bike at the nearest parking area. Blindly I walk into the park. I do not know where, but I must find a place to breathe!
The trees are changing colors ever so gently. Many trees are still green, but the first yellow leaves are waiting to fall, and the first trees with red leaves proudly show off their colors. I keep walking. I keep breathing. In four counts, out four counts. Until suddenly I hear a voice from deep inside my heart. It is not my own voice or my own thoughts, but a voice independent from mine. A guardian? An Angel? Or even the voice of God? The words pierce through my heart, “Sometimes, all you have to do, is look up!” With tears burning in my eyes, I direct my gaze up. I see branches with green leaves, and behind it, the white clouds like a sea of light. I feel the presence of God inside of me. It is everywhere! My heart takes a slower pace, and the fear and panic disappear. The storm that was raging has calmed down. I find a bench and sit down. For the first time in weeks, I feel calm.
The song from the Casting Crowns, ‘Only Jesus’, starts playing in my head. It does not stop. But it is exactly what I need! Only Jesus. Only Jesus can calm the storm inside of me. Only Jesus can take away the fear, grieve, and pain. Only Jesus can fill me with a love that is lasting and true. Only Jesus can find me when I push away everyone else. Only Jesus! Only Jesus! Only Jesus! On this bench, in this park, with its beautiful colors, it is only Jesus that has been able to calm me down.
In this moment I realize that I should speak up more about how I feel! I should open up to my loved ones more often if I feel like drowning. God places people in our lives to help us on our journey, but during the entire course of my life, I have been trying to do it alone! Me and God against the world! But that is not the way God meant it! I am allowed to open up, and ask people to help me, pray for, and comfort me! I don’t have to do this life alone!
We all need people in our life, and that is the exact reason, I wanted to share this personal story of mine! I want to ask you to look around you. In your own life, community, and circle of friends, there are those who feel like they are drowning! All they need is for someone to see them, to hear them, to comfort them. I know life is busy, but I also know that it does not have to take long. Please let them know that you are there! Do not let them drown in their own feelings and thoughts, but reach out your hand, and hold them tight! We all feel alone from time to time. We all need a friend! Remember that!
This photo was made by, and is property of, Gineke van Keulen Do not use without permission! Thank you!
Gineke van Keulen 