I lift up a song
spread my wings
and get carried
on the soft wind
of God’s Spirit
My eyes see colors
I have never seen before
and the longer I sing
the more I know
that singing brings me
so much closer to God
than I have ever been before
So I sing
from the depth
of my soul
until every note
has made it
to God’s throne!
“Jesus wept.”
John 11: 35 (NIV)
It is the shortest sentence in the entire bible. Jesus wept. He wept over Marta. Over Mary. Over His friend Lazarus, who just died. And He cried over the pain of the people surrounding Him. He cried. He feels their pain!
This morning, I was studying this bible verse when the Lord asked me a question. It caused an earthquake in my soul. Jesus asked me, “How often have you read this and not cared?” Ouch, that one hurt. It did not hurt because I felt a reprimand from Him, but it hurt because I knew, He was right! And I started to write down all my thoughts in my journal. Thoughts I want to share with you now.
I have read this too many times and did not care, to be honest. Because my own grief was too big to notice it. Because I was surviving pain and anxiety every day of my life. Because I was still dragging the past along with me on my shoulders. Today however, I did notice it! Today was the first day when I noticed how wrong I was about my Lord and Savior!
You know, I always thought Jesus did not really care about me, my feelings, or my problems. There was simply too much of it. And in my own self-pity, as I was drowning in a pool of darkness, I did not notice the hand that was stretched out to me. I did not notice the tears that were shed on my behalf. Jesus ‘hand. Jesus tears. But I see it now! I see it so clearly. And it may have taken me a while, but I have grabbed His hand, and I have let Him pull me out of my darkness.
Jesus cares! He cares so much more than we could ever imagine. He is not a distant God that watches us from a throne on high, shaking His head over our inadequacy! No! He cares so much about us that He cries! He cries over our pain, our grief, and our anxiety. And today He is still reaching out to us! Desperate for us to know Him, come to Him, and be saved!
Give Him a chance! Jesus cannot help if we do not allow Him to. He reaches His hand out to you, and to me, but it is up to us to grab it! So, I am writing this today to urge you to grab His hand. Let Him save you! Let Him fill your heart and soul with His abounding love and peace! I can safely say, you will not regret it!
Out of control are the thoughts,
which cannot be controlled.
I search for peace in a chaotic world,
and cry myself asleep at night,
in the darkness of the earth.
I long to rest on the wings of a robin,
and lean against her orange chest,
listening to her heartbeat,
that so easily rocks me to sleep.
Snow falls unexpectedly,
and I enjoy the silence of the world.
Only the echo of God’s voice,
reflected in the roots of nature,
released by the greens leaves of spring,
find their way to my mind,
and loosen the endorphins,
that have hidden for so long.
Once again, I sleep underneath,
the safe wings of a robin,
and listen to the music of her heartbeat,
echoing through this messy world.
In the silence of the moment,
when the walls close in on me,
and I hear my own heart scream,
I listen to the heartbeat of the Holy Spirit,
and the fire of His love,
finally sets me free.
Gineke van Keulen 