Authenticity

Authenticity

My eyelids are weak,
my back is soar,
and the early morning,
forces me to scream.
I want to see the dawn,
with a colorful sunrise,
and tea to start my day.
Instead the day calls me,
with heavy stones,
and whiplashes breaking,
the fragile skin of my body.
My mind has become numb –
I stop the thinking,
as soon as I wake up,
in order to prevent,
the evil thoughts,
from crashing in on me,
leaving scars on a heart,
that is already broken.
I protect myself from a world,
who has abandoned me,
at the first breath of my youth,
for reasons I cannot comprehend.
Even the Heavens have gone silent,
unable to utter another word,
that could possibly encourage me.
The streets and bridges are empty.
Only a handful of birds,
dare to cross the sky,
unbothered by the disarray,
taking place beneath them.
My first breath in the morning,
which feels like the first breath,
of a terrified newborn child,
should be the one of a happy,
innocent child filled with wonder,
and glee of the future,
but cheerfully present in the day.
Instead I wonder about the changes,
and improvisations I could make,
to enhance my chances on a market,
that has put me in the box,
of misfits not pretty enough to sell.
Like the crooked cucumber,
that did not make the final cut,
to the runway of the supermarket.
But no matter how I put it down,
in beautifully crafted words,
to explain my small mistakes,
not one is good enough,
to force me to hide away.
I want to be my authentic self,
in a world of so many that look,
and behave exactly the same,
in a society that does not expect,
anything less than that.
I want to rise above the crowd,
of people so alike,
to show this world the beauty,
of standing out.
The worth in my soul,
wins it every single time,
of the desire to fit in.
So even if I have to live,
this one life I have been given,
in the company of myself,
I shall be happy,
for the only thing worse,
than complete loneliness,
is to be forced to kill,
my beautiful self.

Perception

Perception

Eyes only see,
the things they want to see.
Dead and desolate places,
alternate with magical kingdoms,
where angels and butterflies,
fly through colorful mists.

Perception is the essence,
for our identity to be,
the purest form of the self.
For hiding behind a mask,
will give only a temporary relief,
of not being seen.

Visibility is the key,
to the door of fulfillment,
but only when you block,
the murmur of judgmental voices,
and stay true,
to the truest form of yourself.

Eyes only see,
the things they want to see.
And in the sight of selflove,
and childlike positivity,
can we lift ourselves to infinite heights,
where we are more,
than we could ever think of,
and take our life,
further than it could ever be.

Inner Child

Inner Child

Butterfly bushes grow in many colors,
and yet I can only look at you.
Your small eyes stare at me in great wonder,
as if you have a thousand questions to ask.

As the years went by I kept you at a distance,
but your soft whimpering haunted me.
As hard as I tried to run away from you,
I somehow carried you along with me,
making the distance nothing more than a hair.

After all these years I have stopped running,
to focus on what you are trying to say.
Without words I have to learn to assess,
every little movement you make,
and every little emotion you display.

If babies could speak the time would go faster,
but I have to learn how to embrace patience,
as the clock is loudly ticking behind me.

Then suddenly, for the first time in forever,
my hands reach out to you to lift you up,
into my arms where I know you are safe.
I have learned to understand what you need,
to give you everything you deserve at the right time.

The baby I am holding in my arms,
is none other than my own inner child,
who is teaching me that in order to survive,
I have to learn to accept and embrace her.

As the world is slowly passing me by,
and the last words of the sermon escape me,
I walk out of the church service,
with a wisdom that is greatly exceeding me.

In order to live life to the utmost fullest,
embracing the purpose awaiting you,
you first have to learn to take care of a baby –
the representation of your own inner child.