When the heart burns

When the heart burns

Every step I take,
my empty heart burns,
like a forest on fire.
Trying to rescue life,
in all its forms,
I make a decision,
to fight.

The sun on the horizon,
promises me hope,
but how can I believe,
in a new land,
when the old one,
is still burning?

Letting go of sorrow,
feels like the end,
of my very last breath,
overwhelming me with fear,
until I decide,
to breathe again.

Every step I take,
my empty heart burns,
so lay it on the ground,
to find life without it,
but how can I live,
without my heart?

Every season,
teaches us lessons,
but this season appears,
the hardest of them all,
so I have to believe,
that the lesson of this season,
will be the biggest one,
I have ever learned.

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Photograph made by: Gineke van Keulen!

 

Yesterday

Yesterday

Walking through the old chapel,
my rustling dress is the only sound I perceive.
The silence encloses my heart,
until an emotional gasp escapes my lungs.

An empty altar stares back at me,
and the desolated pews seem to mock me.
I can’t separate the truth from the lies anymore,
I can’t find out where it all went wrong.

A glimmer of hope had sparkled at the horizon,
a rainbow of love had suddenly welcomed me in.
For only one moment my heart was alive,
for only a season I was allowed to sing.

The only present tears are in my hands,
where my buckling knees give weight,
and the floor feel like a bed of nails,
where I am beaten into.

I scream until my silence becomes audible,
I cry until the grey regains its colors.
But the emptiness is not driven away in this moment,
the hurt is not separated from me today.

While memories play like a film in front of my eyes,
the reality finally finds its way into my mind,
and my heart breaks with the thought,
yesterday was the last time I saw you walk away.

Yesterday

Loneliness

Loneliness 

My eyes can only see,
togetherness in bloom.
The bunch of roses show,
just one carnation in the room.

Not accepted by the world,
dwelling in my desolation,
my feet are wandering forth,
searching for salvation.

But loneliness is hunting me,
Like a lion hunts its prey,
where I go and what I do,
It never goes away.

drowning in my loneliness,
feeling that I’m not alone,
rescuing me to the shore,
a love I’ve never known.

He brings me in His presence,
my heart is filled with praise.
My God who took my loneliness,
replaced it with His grace.