Healing Heart

After I saw a video on the BBC about the situation in India, I wrote this poem. It is the grief in my own heart that I have felt since my mother passed away, almost three years ago, of cancer, combined with the grief I saw in that video and the grief that I know exists all around the world. Losing someone is so painful, undescribable in words, but please know that rays of hope glimmer at the horizon! xox Gineke

Healing Heart

My heart contracts in pain,
as tear drops trickle down the veins,
forcing primal cries from the depths,
of my shattered soul staring at me,
in the broken mirror reflections on the floor.

My hands lifted you up in love,
carried you around a desolated city,
searching for one heart willing to help,
but the silence has fired back at me,
like a thousand knives stabbing me,
in a defenseless attack I cannot win!

I am holding your picture in my hands,
unable to understand how this happened,
yet fully aware that death can come knocking,
at my own front door at any time,
so I close the door and wonder why,
the future has abandoned us this time?

As the sun comes up in the east,
the first rays of hope move across the land,
like little drops of gold being spread,
and I cannot wait for the sun in the sky,
bringing a rainbow into my hands,
where memory and hope can blend,
in a healing heart that will one day learn,
how to give her love once again.

Yesterday

Yesterday

Walking through the old chapel,
my rustling dress is the only sound I perceive.
The silence encloses my heart,
until an emotional gasp escapes my lungs.

An empty altar stares back at me,
and the desolated pews seem to mock me.
I can’t separate the truth from the lies anymore,
I can’t find out where it all went wrong.

A glimmer of hope had sparkled at the horizon,
a rainbow of love had suddenly welcomed me in.
For only one moment my heart was alive,
for only a season I was allowed to sing.

The only present tears are in my hands,
where my buckling knees give weight,
and the floor feel like a bed of nails,
where I am beaten into.

I scream until my silence becomes audible,
I cry until the grey regains its colors.
But the emptiness is not driven away in this moment,
the hurt is not separated from me today.

While memories play like a film in front of my eyes,
the reality finally finds its way into my mind,
and my heart breaks with the thought,
yesterday was the last time I saw you walk away.

Yesterday