Belonging

Belonging

The world fades,
as pink roses bloom.
The bell rings,
and in the distance,
sounds the whistle,
of an old black steam train,
awakening the nostalgia,
like the perfume of roses,
awakens my soul,
in the heart of friendship.
I chime the tower clock,
while the organ plays,
our favorite symphony,
as white doves fly away,
on the warm summer breeze,
that my heart releases,
at the beginning of winter.
The open fire crackles,
wrapping its warmth around me,
like a warm blanket,
on a cozy Sunday afternoon.
The tea in my hands,
smells like cinnamon and apples,
while the hot carrot cake,
lays untouched on my plate.
And as the first snowflakes fall,
I curl up in your arms,
where belonging is the same,
as being home on a cold winter day!

Photo made by: Gineke van Keulen. (Do not use without permission! Thank you!)

A Lesson in Strength

A Lesson in Strength

A storm in a glass of water,
maybe that was all I had to endure,
but for me it was a tornado,
a giant flood overwhelming me.
I needed the world to stop,
for my life to come to a halt.
I needed panic to take me over,
and fear to pierce a way through my heart.

In order for us to become stronger,
we first have to become weaker.
For strength can only enter our soul,
if it defeats all the negative inside us,
and diminishes our fears and doubts.
When the mind grows stronger,
it allows our faith to grow,
so we can learn to trust ourselves.
Like a seed in the dark earth,
first has to die,
in order to bloom in its brightest colors,
that is how our dark hearts,
first has to die inside of us,
in order to become strong and invincible.
When we are willing to face our fear,
we are able to defeat them in the battle.
If we are willing to work on ourselves,
the victory of self-growth will be ours.
The lesson of strength,
has been the most valuable in my life,
for it has taught me,
that when you do not give up,
anything is possible.
The key is to put one foot in front of the other,
to breathe one breath at the time,
to force your heart to keep on beating,
when the darkness seems to engulf you.
But the greatest help in this process,
was a man on a cross,
who rose from the dead,
and who believed in me,
long before I did.
The road to pure strength,
goes through deep dark valleys,
and over high mountains,
but at the end of the road,
the prize of self-love,
understanding, wisdom, and confidence,
is worth everything!

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Photo: taken by myself at a bamboo forest in France in 2014!

A life well loved!

A life well loved!

A life lived without love,
would kill the strongest flower,
but surrounded by love,
even the smallest flower shall bloom.
In order to give our love,
we need to receive it as well.
It is a vicious circle,
that we desperately need to survive.
We find love through companionship,
through a gentle touch,
or a simple conversation.
In order to really love in life,
we need to look around,
and love each other.

Just like flower petals,
wrapping themselves around one another,
that is how I need you,
to wrap your arms around me.
For my emotions to be unlocked,
I need your love to fill me up.
Overwhelm me with your presence,
however small or fragile it may be,
and I will smile again,
breathe again,
and live again!

chrysanthemum yellow red

Turn the tide

Turn the tide

Blue oceans are full,
without spilling a single drop.
When the rain falls,
hail sets in,
a storm rushes past,
the dam breaks,
and the water floods,
I am swimming against the tide.

If only the tide could be controlled,
ice bergs would not melt,
a storm be non-existent,
maybe then we would survive.
But we only drown in low water,
on a blue summer day.

Where poor help the poor,
the rich prevent the rain,
to fall on their own roofs.
But mountains do not move,
if we do not ask them too.

The oceans in your eyes,
flood my soul until it breaks,
and in the water-reflections,
I want to turn the tide.

 

 

Chamber of Secrets

Chamber of Secrets

My heart is chamber of secrets,
carefully constructed throughout my life,
where each chamber is a home,
where either wanted or unwanted visitors,
make a permanent living.

My mind is a fortress of remembrance,
where thick high walls protect the thoughts,
entering through an open gate,
whose key I lost a long time ago,
when life was a simple innocent society.

My appearance is a prison of fear,
where my soul lives an isolated life,
in the deepest dungeons of my own recollection,
and my eyes scan the streets for shadows,
waiting around the corner to attack me.

My heart is a chamber of secrets,
and I am desperately trying to hide them all,
in order to be accepted in the normality of life,
where love is a possibility instead of a dream,
and friendship a probability I believe in.

 

 

A Chance for Rebirth

A Chance for Rebirth

Feelings are lost in a chaotic mess of emotions,
I try to untangle the knots in the threads,
but somehow the frame remains broken,
and the paint is slowly dripping from the canvas.

Am I losing myself in this seemingly endless battle?
Do we all lose ourselves at some moment in life?
Losing is winning in an upside-down world,
like returning to my mother’s womb is a chance for rebirth.

Rediscovering the new and old assets of my soul,
allows me to look at the painting with a clearer mind,
while I pick up a brush to fill in the blanks,
with new vibrant colors I find in my reborn heart.

If losing myself forces me to be recreated,
by the One who created me in the first place,
then maybe trust is the only way to unlock my bolted heart,
to a new and brighter future I could ever dream of.

 

New Rays of Hope

New Rays of Hope

Trees dance in the rain,
as a sparrow shakes his feathers dry,
on the soft sound of the piano keys.

The hot steaming liquid in my mug,
reminds me of the fireplace at home,
but the beach is to inviting to leave now.

Storms on the shore take my tears,
and send them along with the wind,
in bittersweet love letters to far away places.

Small towns are like warms blankets,
keeping the cold out of the weary heart,
where it begs for love to find her.

As an artistic flow of creativity touches me,
I can only take what I have left in my hands,
for it to find a way to come surging out.

With a pencil in hand I sketch the night away,
for the morning to arrive in words and pictures,
that align with the Divine connection with my soul.

For a short moment longer the sea rages on,
and I witness the dark clouds disappear in the distance,
only for the rainbow to whisper the new rays of hope.

New rays of hope

 

The fight of self-love

The fight of self-love

Challenging love,
I lose sight of who I am,
and a battle is never won,
without knowledge.

Fighting against myself,
I lose sight of who You are,
and I lose a battle,
that I never even started.

Fighting against You,
I lose sight of everything,
for everything is within You,
and You  are within everything.

When the battle ends,
all I have left is love,
for it is within love,
where I find myself.

You know how much I love You

You know how much I love You

How can I describe my feelings?
How can I describe the contents of my heart?
When I look at You all logics fade,
and my heart pounds like that of an antelope,
who only just escaped a hungry lion.
The world disappears from my sight,
for my eyes can only perceive You –
nothing else matters to me but You.
If only You would know how much I love You!
My heart languishes for You,
in the brief moments when You are not with me,
I cannot exist without You by my side.
Still I know that I am one of many,
still I understand that I have to know my place.
But when You ask me,
if I love You more than others?
Then yes Lord, You know how much I do,
You know how much I love You!

You know how much I love You