The creation of the planets

The creation of the planets

When Your heart lights up,
and Your Spirit is released,
passion burns within You.
The crackling flames,
able to destroy,
everything on its path,
is controlled by the love,
blazing in Your eyes.

Where water flows,
restlessness sets in,
and life becomes a vortex.
But in Your hands,
water is salvation,
an oasis for the thirsty.
Flowing from Your throne,
water is a pool of love,
the calmth amidst the storm.

The earth in Your hands,
becomes Your masterpiece,
evolved from Your imagination.
As Your hands work,
without spilling a single grain,
water turns it into clay,
and fire into brimstone.
But earth itself is calmth,
a peaceful place to walk on.

Now the wind blows,
where the Spirit speaks,
causing change and renewal.
The wind without a leader,
is a vicious tornado,
ready to destroy.
But in Your hands,
wind becomes a helper,
a part of Your holy plan.

My eyes witness,
the interconnection,
of the four elements in Your hands.
Combined with Your own Light,
it lives, floats and turns,
into balls of different sizes.
And when my fingers,
gently push one into the cosmos,
I know that You showed me,
the creation of the planets.

(This poem is based on a vision I received from God)

Born to write!

Every word

Effortless are the words, I write.
Like oxygen that bubbles to the surface,
ready to be released to the world,
Your words are nestled in my heart,
like young birds ready to fly out.

Closing my eyes, I listen.
I hear Your voice in the wind,
in the birds in the air,
in the many faces I connect with.
I listen to Your voice,
wherever I go.

My pen is my only companion.
Without paper I cannot leave the house.
I write with my heart.
I write from the soul.
The words from You, Father,
have become my own.

Poem after poem,
letter after letter,
word after word.
I connect with You.
I learn from You.
I remember You.

Effortless are the words, I write.
The oxygen that fills my heart,
bursts out into the world.
The power is not my own,
I cannot take credit for the words.
All I can do is write them down.

I breathe Your words,
and with love I release it like a dove,
into a world who needs You.

Let Your words touch the hearts,
open the hearts for Your love,
pour out Your generous mercy,
so Your light will attract the faces,
of all of Your children.

Father, I am Your daughter,
seeking Your children.
And for every heart I find,
I write,
every word.

With this poem I wanted to explain what writing means to me. I was born to write in every sense of the word. Even though I didn’t like writing as a child, I was called to write by Jesus, at the age of five! I guess Jesus knows me a lot better than I know myself.

Today I cannot imagine my life without writing. Even if I could never release my poetry book, I would still write. I would still hope for a miracle. For a way for people to read it. All I ever wanted was to touch people’s hearts with the words God gave me. I know that getting dreams and visions is a great privilege! Because of that privilege I want to share with people what God shows me. What God shows me can help others too! That I know for a fact. I just want people to understand God’s love! That is why I write. Regardless of what happens to me in my life, I need to write. This blog is such a blessing to me. It is a beautiful way to share a small part of what I wrote with the world! And for that I am grateful!

Thank you so much for reading my blog! It means a lot to me! Thank you!

 

Dealing with the negative side of life

Do you remember my blog posts, ‘How I deal with anxiety and stress’ & ‘Optimism is the key to a happy life’? Well so do I! I am an optimistic fighter by nature because I always feel that with a little bit of work and patience, negative feelings go away by itself. In the last few weeks however I came to an unexpected question. What if it doesn’t? What if all my wisdom fades away in a thick mist and nothing I ever learned helps me anymore? What then? In the last few weeks I hated to admit it to myself that I was stuck. I could not deal with it anymore. Not on my own. The stress and anxiety had taken control over me and everything I tried remained futile. On top of it all I developed a sinus infection, and due to the amount of stress I unconsciously kept tightening my jaw muscles, which are now probably overburdened as well. In short I am dealing with a large amount of fear, stress and pain.

Even though this was all taking place, my eyes were opened to something important. The fact that optimism leads to happiness is still something I highly support. But what if it isn’t that easy? What if it isn’t that easy to shake it all off. On social media I read a lot of quotes from public speakers (mainly christians) that if you just believe in God enough, fear will never be able to reach you. If you believe enough God will protect you and fear will not be a part of your life. The sentence, just be happy, was used a little to easy for my liking. In ways it even upset me! I live very closely to God and I still have a fair share of stress and fear to deal with. Does this mean that God doesn’t love me? Does this mean that I am not a true child of God because otherwise I would not be feeling this way? Or maybe God just has something against me and doesn’t want me! Or a last answer could be that I simply don’t have the Holy Spirit inside of me. Well in my opinion this is just nonsense! I have to believe in that otherwise I lose the only rock I still stand on.

God is a God of love! He does not hurt people. He does not punish people. I refuse to believe in an evil God that simply doesn’t like me. Jesus loves me and that is a fact! My stress and fear are not an example of God’s absence, on the contrary, I start to believe it is the proof of His presence. I may not see it or feel it right now but when I look back later on in life, I most certainly will. I believe that God can heal me with one word, and I still fervently hope that He will! But what if God allows me to experience this frantic panic, deep-rooted fear and overwhelming stress to teach me something. If God would heal me overnight, would that teach me something? Or would that be an easy way out? Something inside of me tells me that it would.

Last week I started therapy again. In a little while I will get EMDR treatment to help me get rid of the fear. After three psychologists, two assertivity treatments and one anxiety course at an earlier age, this is my last resort. My last resort to break free from whatever fear is holding me in its grip. It may sound drastic but I have lived with fear my entire life. I cannot remember a moment in my life where I wasn’t afraid. And through all that fear God showed me so many dreams and visions! He was with me every step of the way. He is still with me today, nudging me forward. God loves me, fear and all! In fact He loves me so much that He does not want a quick-fix. In fact He loves me so much, that He wants me to go through this fear because only then, I can come out stronger on the other end.

My therapist said it so beautifully, “Fear is the greatest suffering a human being can go through”. She is right. Out of everything I experienced it is the fear that was the worst. Fear leads to so many things. It leads to physical, emotional and mental health issues which are triggered by stress. And stress comes from fear. At the moment I am stuck in a depression. One moment is better than the other. One moment I cry the other I laugh. My emotions are like a swing set rocking back and forward. But with God’s help, going through treatment yet another time, I will be healed. Maybe not overnight but in time I will. If God taught me one thing it is this; good things come with patience. If you want a long effect, you will have to put some time and effort in it. Only with patience and effort, I will come out stronger on the other end.

When depression strikes it is not the end of the world. When depression strikes it is not the end of a book but merely the beginning of a whole new chapter. When you are going through anxiety, stress or depression, just like me, let me tell you that God is with you. You are not carrying this burden alone. God didn’t stop loving you somewhere down the road, even if that is how you feel right now. Keep holding on to God’s love. Keep praying, keep fighting and keep moving forward. You will come out of this and much stronger than you were before. Don’t give up and if you need prayer, send me a message through the contact section on this blog. You are not alone! I guarantee it! God is with you!

A poem about truth

One morning, a couple of years ago, as I was sitting in the silence of the morning, I felt a deep desire to get my notebook and write. I felt the Spirit of God dance inside my heart as I wrote the following poem.

Truth is Freedom

Questions ask Questions,
through the answers multiplied.
Answers calm the soul,
but only for a little while.
The answers we want to hear,
lead us walking in circles,
endlessly.

Where the truth shines his light,
human eyes are blinded by its brightness,
but if we dare to open our heart,
the truth will set us free.

Truth answers questions.
Peace calms the soul.
The two are undeniably connected,
for truth and peace give acceptance,
and broken circles give a narrow road,
until we learn how to walk in truth.

Questions ask questions.
Answers question itself.
But the truth is a rock,
steadfast and unshakable,
where we can lean on in times of trial.
The truth is the Light that sets our mind free.
Eternal freedom that sets us in the Light.

Truth is freedom for the soul!

The last few days I was reminded by this poem. As if a voice whispered the title into my heart and soul. If we learn to walk in the truth, we will find the freedom that we long for.
But what if the truth is not what we wanted to hear? Are we still willing to walk the path of the truth, if the truth is not what we expected? I think that is a question that will ultimately answer itself. An answer that will lead us to the door of our heart, that will show us, what is really inside.