In ´About Me´ you have been able to read the short version of my story. In this blog I would like to share more with you.
My journey with God began when I was only five years old. For as long as I can remember I have always believed in God. I was raised as a Christian but inside of me and around me, I always felt His presence somehow. At age five I was attending second grade of elementary school (According to the school system in the Netherlands, where I live). To this day I still remember what the classroom looked like. We had large eight-cornered tables where we would sit and the classroom was divided in five corners. These corners were small areas on the side of the room where kids could do all sorts of things. There was a game-corner with all sorts of board-games, a book corner, a boys-corner with all sorts of typical toys for boys, a block-corner where kids could build stuff and a mommy-daddy corner as I call it, where children played mommy and daddy.
This classroom was the place where God called me to a much greater purpose then I could ever imagine. To this day I still vividly remember how it all took place. It was that time of day where our teacher told us we could all pick a corner and play in that corner for a little while. As all the kids were playing, I stood in the middle of the room wondering what I would choose. For a short moment I was looking at the mommy-daddy corner, when I heard a kind, sweet and very gentle voice from someone standing right behind me. But when I turned around there was nobody there. I wasn’t afraid of the voice! As a matter of fact, I felt very comfortable in His presence and I instantly knew it was God. How I knew it, I don’t know, yet somehow I did. God said to me, as I was looking to the mommy/daddy corner, “Gineke, don’t go there! I am sorry sweetie but that is not for you. You will never have a family of your own, I’m sorry. Don’t spend too much time on that. Choose something else”. Somehow I knew that God was not just talking about that particular moment but rather about my whole life. As I was thinking about another option, I felt two hands touching my head. One on each side, and they turned my head towards the book-corner. God said, “How about a book”? The funny thing is that I wasn’t much of a reader at all, but at that moment I seriously thought it was the best choice ever! So I answered, without opening my mouth, “oke”. As if I was talking to God telepathically. Then as if nothing happened God left.
My teacher had noticed me standing in the middle of the classroom. I was just staring at one point (that mommy-daddy corner) and wasn’t making a single move. She came to me and said,”What are you going to do Gineke”. She saw me still staring at the mommy-daddy corner so she said, “It’s okay, you can go play there”! As if I was instantly snapped back into reality, I looked at her and said, “No thank you, I will never get married or have children anyway”. My teacher, pore woman, really didn’t know what to do with this sudden answer and I felt the confusion and shock go through her myself. She said, “Gineke, of course you will get married and have kids. Don’t be silly”! But after my experience with God a second earlier, I knew better and said, “No I won’t, but it’s oke. I will go and read a book”. Having said that I skipped over to the book-corner, leaving my teacher there in complete shock. A Minute later she called all the children back to their tables, with a tremor still clearly audible in her voice.
For some reason she did not tell my parents and neither did I. I only told my parents just recently. As a five year old I didn’t understand the severity of the situation. Besides, to me talking to God was the most normal thing in the world. In fact, being five I forgot about what happened. I was five and didn’t have the memory of a grown up. There was too much to remember already.
It wasn’t until much later in life that I remembered and contemplated it over and over again in my mind. Thankfully God didn’t forget and as I am writing this I can see the face of Jesus in mind. It was Jesus who came to me that day. Looking back this is where my life as a servant of God began. This is where God the Father, Jesus and the Holy Spirit became the centre point of my life. They called me to one day become a writer.
A couple of weeks ago I finished my first manuscript of poems. Even though I still have to find a publisher, it amazes and humbles me how God has lead my life to this moment. But I didn’t only hear God’s voice at the age of five! I would hear God’s voice and even see His face, both of the Father and Jesus, on many more occasions in my life.
The next moment I heard God’s voice was when I was fourteen years old….but that is for another blog, another time.
May God bless you and may you feel His love every day of your life.